The other day during my downtime, I was reading “An Abundance of Katherine’s” by John Green. For the last few years, he has held the spot as my favorite author. He writes stories of young love and adventures that any young adult could only dream of. Often, his books are relatable to the imagination I have. However, I got to chapter 8 of this latest novel and the first sentence said:
“When you spend your entire life in and around the city of Chicago, as it turns out, you fail to fully apprehend certain facets of rural life.”
Right on John Green, right on.
I would like to say my days at the farm came to a close with me understanding rural life. I wish I could say that I enjoyed being woken up as soon as 3:30am to a joyful cockle-doodle-do and what seems like hundreds of chickens echoing that response. It would be cool to say that I found my life calling to be a farmer, but I did not and I don’t think I ever will get that calling. However, what I did find out about myself and the world around me was much cooler than that.
Thailand has been so beyond good to me. These last 2 months have truly been a humbling experience.
When I first got to the farm (and I hate to admit this) but I turned to my team and said “Alright. So when do we leave Thailand again?” I thought it was going to be impossible to love this place. I thought it was going to be impossible to love my ministry and love my location.
Ahhh-ha! Again, I thought wrong. Who would’ve guessed?
In the two months of being here, my team and I have had the chance to serve so many people in so many different ways. Between farming and taking care of chores for our host family, running a few English camps throughout Kanchanburi, or simply just bringing the light of God into a few peoples homes and just hanging with them, we have done some pretty darn cool things in the name of Jesus.
At times, it was tough. At times, it was tiring. At times, it was hard to see the fruit of our labor. At times, it was difficult to see what the point of us being there was. But gosh, has it been so worth it.
I have met some incredible people. I have hung out with the funniest children and been able to sing the craziest songs with them. The adults I have met, I just love to pieces. I see their smiling faces in my head and picture their laughing faces as they go crazy during our child like dances and songs. Adults and children alike were constantly just itching to learn. Whether it be English or the love of God, they would stop at nothing- not even the language barrier until they understood.
There is one family in Thailand that captured my heart. Down the street from our house, we visited Pii Pang’s friend, Uncle Paul, and his family. Twice a week, we were able to worship in both English and Thai. Then, we would share stories of how The Lord has worked in our life, and then share a teaching from The Gospel. The hearts and the yearn that each person in this family had to learn about Our Father and His word makes my heart smile. Each time we went they worshiped no matter the language and listened intently to the words being spoken. They also often asked questions. Sharing snacks and laughs and the love of God with this family are times I will miss dearly. Their hospitality and kindness made us feel at home since day one.
The Lord taught me SO much about myself the last 2 months as well.
Out on the farm, if you haven’t heard already- there was no phone service. There was no wifi. There was no Netflix or no TV. There was no way to possibly be distracted and there was no where else to turn except right to The Lord.
I had so much alone time these last 2 months, it was a bit overwhelming. But in the end of things, it was so peaceful and it was exactly what I needed. Each day, I was able to just sit and listen. I could read my bible and absorb His word with nothing else consuming my thoughts. I could lay in my hammock and speak out to Him. And it was awesome. Quite honestly, that was something I was not used to doing. I occasionally would make time in my day to just sit down and read The word and listen to what He had to say to me. But now that I’ve been able to do that, it has been awesome deepening my relationship with Him all on my own.
I have learned that it is more important to rely on Him rather than myself and those around me. So often when faced with an issue I would run to my friends. I would run to my family. I would expect them to stop what they were doing and listen to me. I expected them to be the ones to fix me.
But what I am learning, is that at the end of the day – there is going to be no one there to fix me except The Lord. He is the one who will never fail me. He is the one who knows me better than anyone, including myself and He is the one who knows what my heart and soul is needing. He will never let me go.
Sometimes, it’s hard. It’s hard to comprehend that the only one i really need is unable to audibly talk to me. I am unable to see him. It’s hard not to run to my friends or my family and allow them to comfort me and allow them to try and give me the answers that I think I need.
These last 2 months have been core growing months for me and looking back on it now, there is absolutely no other place in Thailand that I would’ve spent the last 2 months at. Even if I didn’t see it in that moment, The Lord knew what He was doing to me and for me.
What a good, good Father He is.
