When I was younger, my grandparents both really pushed for a different, out of the box kind of fun.
They pushed for intellectual fun, whether it was constant trips to the library or downloading computer games that stretched the mind. They pushed for time outside and often my afternoons were spent at a variety of different local parks, going down slides and hours of swinging on swings. Some afternoons, my grandpa would break out his tandem bike and together, with him doing the pedaling of course, we would zip through neighborhoods and nonetheless, always stop for ice cream.
My childhood was filled with all sorts of memories such as these. Hours of endless reading, hundreds of banana bread loaves being baked, and countless “Look at that one!” as we sat outside and watched birds fly through the vast blue skies.
Out of all the simple adventures we had, one that holds a special spot in my heart is raising butterflies with my grandma.
I remember she would order a tub of caterpillars. They would come in the mail in a tub filled in their home environment. I remember setting up their new home that came with it, and carefully transporting their delicate little bodies in the new habitat. Together, we would carefully monitor them and make sure they were getting just the right amount of sun light and just the right amount of nutrients they would need to survive.
Within time, these crawly little caterpillars would climb up on their home walls, and wrap itself in it’s cocoon. Still, together- my grandmother and I would make sure they were safe and receiving just what they needed to thrive in their little cocoon.
Time would continue to pass, and right before our eyes, these cocoons would break open and out would come a beautiful monarch butterfly. It would fly around, happy that it was free and reborn and something new.
Then, within a few days of nurturing our new butterflies, we would take them outside and release them into a new, large environment where they could set out and explore.
I was on a walk out here in Nicaragua today, surrounded by nature. The hot sun beating down, the constant chatter of birds, and the occasional massive tree that is just too large to comprehend— all aspects of this world that The Lord so intricately made with His very own hands.
On my walk, a pretty yellow butterfly flew right on by me and my mind brought me back to that cherished memories of all the fun I had with butterflies while growing up.
I think The Lord speaks through a number of people using nature.
People can feel His presence while looking out into a glorious, blue ocean because His love for the world is so vast. People see Him through the stars. They see Him as a light, a constant light in a huge setting of pitch black. They see Him as a phenomenal artist as they look into the sky and see a sunset with unreal strokes of pinks and oranges and purples.
He is so evident in those things for me as well, but butterflies are near and dear to my heart. Not just because I was a professional butterfly master growing up, but because I think the human race is accurately represented through butterflies.
Caterpillars are cool, no hate towards caterpillars- but they’re kind of boring.
They’re basic. They walk (crawl?) around and go through the mundane.
They trudge through the mud and the dirt, and do the same routine, day in and day out. They eat grass, maybe take a nap, eat some more grass, and I’m not really sure of the exact details of the life of a caterpillar but I can’t imagine it’s anything more than that.
The life of a caterpillar reminds me of myself in the years past. I did the same, typical things every day. I woke up, went to school, went to practice of whatever sport season it was, maybe did my homework, ate some dinner, took a shower, and then went to bed. Some days were even more eventful, because sometimes I would go to church or hang out with friends, but nothing was out of the ordinary.
I went through the motions. I did the normal every day of my life. I didn’t have anything against it, I didn’t hate my life. I just wasn’t sure what else was out there. I didn’t think that a girl like me, could do anything cooler than what I was doing. I seemed like I was right on par for what I was supposed to be doing.
Then, some how I got myself wrapped up in the World Race and found myself going head first into the unknown- which I would say at this point was the equivalent of a caterpillar heading into it’s cocoon.
I knew the next season of my life was coming up and I knew it was a season I had to enter, after all, I couldn’t just stay in high school forever. Upon signing up for the World Race, I knew something cool was going to happen, but I really just wasn’t sure what the actual extent of that was going to be. I knew God wanted me on the trip for a reason, and I knew that His plan was going to be super great, but I had no envision as to what that would like. I trusted Him, yes.
But, I didn’t trust Him 100%. I think that is very similar to a caterpillar in it’s cocoon stage.
So there I sat, in my cocoon. I had a trust in God, but I didn’t allow Him to have every part of me. I sat holding grips on my life. I sat holding onto plans for my life. I sat in my cocoon, knowing that He could do something awesome, but I wasn’t ready to commit my entire life to Him.
So here I am, 8 months into the World Race. Right now, that cocoon is broken. That wrap that held me in is gone. I am dancing in beauty and awe and wonder of this life my Father has created for me.
Those days of going through the motions are long gone. The time of being in a cocoon, wanting something great to happen, are gone too.
I now stand tall. I stand in the path and the will that God has personally carved out for my life. I stand walking in the freedom that Christ allows us to walk in. Much like a butterfly, I have been able to spread my wings these past months, in places that I had never even dreamt of seeing.
Why? Because I decided to be bold. I decided that societies vision of normal, wasn’t the normal I was called for. I decided to release myself from the worlds expectations for me, and follow God’s with no looking back. I gave everything to Him, with full confidence of knowing it wouldn’t return without void.
The fact of the matter is, God made something beautiful out of me and the boringness and brokenness that plagued me. And when you choose to live a life aligned with Him and for Him, I promise He will do the same for you.
At the end of the day, God doesn’t need us. Not one person on this Earth He needs. He doesn’t need me, He doesn’t need you, He doesn’t NEED anyone. But He still chooses us. He chooses us because He knows that each of our individual passions, and strengths and weaknesses can be used for something outstanding to build His kingdom. Trust in that. Trust that there is more out there for you thank you know.
You don’t have to be a caterpillar. You don’t have to go through the motions week after week, and year after year. That cocoon? You don’t need to stay in that either. When you run after Christ full force, arms wide open and say “Yes,” there is nothing in this world that could hold you back.
With God, anything is possible. With God, freedom lies for eternity. With God, you to— can fly into this world and see all that He has to offer.
