The World Race didn’t work out for me, and that’s okay. It is still a wonderful program that is great for many people to grow in their faith while serving and traveling. The World Race could have worked out for me, don’t get me wrong on that. I could have continued to be on the field, regardless of what my heart felt. I could have stuck it out for 7 more months, not being in the right heart space to give and receive the love of God. I could have, but I have chosen not to. I know many people are expecting answers, and that’s not always going to be something that I can give, but I will try my best to let you know why I chose to leave the field. Early into the race, as many of you know, my grandpa passed away. We were very close and my heart was not prepared for what I was experiencing. Grieving for me was non existent, not because time and space weren’t available, but because I chose to push my feelings aside in order to continue moving on at the pace we were going. I continued to push on, not recognizing that grief doesn’t give you an option, it stays until you recognize it’s there. In my time spent with the Lord on the field, I also began to realize that my relationship with Him was not based off of genuinely wanting to grow and rely on Him but rather the fact that having that relationship was “right”. Although the World Race would have given me the environment to grow that relationship, I have chosen to return home and choose that for myself, not because ‘I’m on the World Race and I have to choose God’ but because I genuinely WANT to. The time that I have spent with my squad has not only given me the opportunity to realize that I need to grow in the Lord, but it has also given me a chance to meet so many men and women of God. I am confident that these two months have opened so many doors in my life. Although I have chosen to depart from the field, my life will still be a race of sorts. Just because I am not traveling with my squad physically, does not mean that I am not growing with them spiritually. I am so confident in the fact that they are going to do amazing things for the kingdom of God in the next 7 months, but that does not mean that I won’t. I have faith that God is going to meet me wherever I am as long as I am seeking Him. This journey is going to be a hard one but I know that it will also be so good. I am going to choose to be persistent and intentional about my relationship with God because this time around I am earnestly seeking growth. Thank you for understanding in this time of adjustment. Your support is always welcome and appreciated.
