Test and Examine

Words spoken over us and over all, may my chains be broken, may your chains be broken. The chains that I don’t even know are there, that daily are holding me down, holding me back. It seems every day that comes there is another chain that I come across to battle, something that didn’t strike me yesterday but strikes me today. We have been working on a woman’s house with our host Benjamin for 3 days now.  The first day I was pumped, the second day I already did not want to work, of course I did anyways. What am I here for to work, to help others, to love, to follow Christ? He loved, he helped others, but I feel there is still so much more.

Where is my heart truly? What fruit do I bear? Why am I doing this work? Is it because I have to or because there is one soul out there that is crying out and I want to help? Do I need to help more or is just one enough? Do I really believe I can do more than Christ did? Do I really think I am one that can step out of the boat and walk on the water? Well then that night we watch this video by Paul Washer. He called out the American Church. Asking people to examine and test yourself because he loves so much that he is willing to risk all he has, risk rejection. He is willing to ask the questions that most people I know won’t ask. The questions that we may not always have an answer to, but make a person want to search their heart and soul for what the truth is in the Word. Do we live comfortably or are we changing to what we find in the word? Am I living as others live around me because they are “Christian” or am I looking to what the Word says about a follower? The way. Am I living comfortably and in conformity? Can I even say that I have tried to be bold for the Lord, for the man who bore all my sins and saved me? The man that said “It is finished” and took it all for ME. What chains will be broken during this journey?

These are some questions that I have been faced with lately and I would ask that not only would I be questioned about all these things but that everyone would be questioned about these things. That we would not just fit into some mold that we have created, or our society has created, or our church has created, but that if we step out and realize something different, we question it. That we would continue to change, where it is okay to change. To live in a way in which we are always examining and testing ourselves. We don’t have to be the person we were yesterday, it is okay to change, to break the chains that have been holding us back.