When people ask me, “how was training camp?”, I don't even know what to say. My response this first day back has been “good, hard and overwhelming”. What do you say when you met some wonderful people whose hearts and desires radiate for God, yet you can't wait to finally have a moment to yourself with peace and quiet so you try to find any excuse to get away? How do you describe a week full of good confrontation with the Holy Spirit seeing how it may be lived out in others yet there are good, true reasons why you were uncomfortable? How do I tell someone that it was one of the most challenging weeks being convicted of how I put God in a box yet question if all that I'm seeing happen before my eyes is necessarily what brings God the most glory? Is what I'm seeing before my eyes the way God wants to be out of the box or does it look differently in my life? Good and overwhelming… yet it's such a vague response.
I could tell you that I slept in my tent, outside, in a school bus, and a cabin (I use that term loosely as it has no windows to keep the heat in and the cold out). I could tell you that I ate a different cuisine each day to simulate food in the variety of countries I'll be going to (the play-dough type brick of ugali in Africa and fish soup (w/ real, whole, sardine sized fish to eat… eyeballs and all). I could tell you that I know a little bit more about what it's like to struggle as a refugee seeking asylum in a “safe” land full of false promise because of an exercise we did. I could go on and on about eye opening worship I witnessed, conversations I had, and the cold (wearing about 5 layers every day by the end of the week and still wanting more). And I hope that I will hear from each and every one of you and I DO get to tell you all of this!!!
But for now, I'll focus on the hopes and thoughts that I'm pondering in my heart as Mary did when she learned that she would be giving birth to the Savior. I know, I know, it's a stretch and not the same thing (yes, people I know). But it's the idea of preparation and hope. I have a little over two months of the comforts of home, of collecting money for support, of spending time with my family and friends, of preparing as much as I possibly can for this next season of my life. And in this time, I have much hope… in what the Lord will do throughout the world because I am going. These are the realities and hopes that I will ponder and pray for the next thirteen months-
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I read about what Jesus does, what His disciples do with the Holy Spirit, but I don't see it! I am not seeing people healed from disease, lame people walking, or blind people seeing. I want to see people healed!
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How to listen to the voice of God more.
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And with that, how to speak life into other people's lives… His words of strength, encouragement, and comfort to those whose lives He's purposely intertwined my life with.
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Become the woman God has made me to be… in the fullness of His splendor. Isaiah 61:3 says, “that they may be called trees of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His spendor (that He may be glorified).” Am I living in the fullness of what God has for me and making the most out of it so that His fullness and glory is radiated in my life each and every day?
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Call others up and be called up, not called out – encourage, strengthen, and comfort with my words and conversations. Every interaction I have with anyone (especially with the five people on my team) is an opportunity to sharpen each other so we are more like Christ… may this be said of me and I learn more how to do this.
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Call up a generation – I live in a generation of ficklness, apathy, and concern for self. May my life be an example that calls others out of these and challenges them to live for the display of His splendor as well.
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Relate to Jesus in a way that I never have before.
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Let the Holy Spirit work through me and in me in a new way .
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Recognize different ways that God wants to move… if only I would let Him out of the box.
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Discern the sources of voice and deeds in my life – God? The enemy? Myself? Or the world/society/people around me?
People are suffering all around the world! Hopeless. Abandoned. Unloved. Forgotten. Dying. If I truly believe that my life is to radiate His glory so that the Kingdom of Heaven may be here on earth, to help heal the world and that people, children of God who've been so marred and separated from the glory they were meant to possess may be restored, how can I doubt that my team, that each of the teams is not chosen exactly as it should be to be the most effective for God's purposes and will spread His love to a lost, captive world? I am made for more than this life today and I don't want to miss what God is doing. This is why I am going on The World Race.
