Nothing can prepare you for missing big events back home. Events you would be there for. Events you want to be there for. Good and bad. The day my team and I arrived in Cahul, my niece was born. The sex of the baby was to be a surprise for everyone (including my brother and sister-in-law) so everyone was making guesses in anticipation… boy or girl? You know that moment when the proud new daddy comes into the waiting room and says “It's a beautiful, healthy, baby… (insert boy or girl here)”… well, I missed that moment. You know when you first get to look into his or her face for the first time with everyone else… I missed that moment. On the bus to Cahul, imagining all that I was missing in those moments, the verse in Luke 14:26 came to mind. When Jesus tells the people “Anyone who comes to me but refuses to let go of father, mother, spouse, children, brothers, sisters – yes, even one's own self! – can't be my disciple.”… and I finally got it in that moment.
After battling a variety of health issues for a number of years, my mother's sister, my sweet Auntie Lola passed away. The prison her body put her soul into finally let her go home… to freedom. A moment that I would have heard about right away. Although I knew that it would be soon, I didn't know when. And I missed the moment… again. You know that moment when you hear devastating news and you want to rush to someone's side to comfort them, to help ease the pain of their heart… I missed that moment. You know the feeling of keeping doing what you're doing until you have a reason not to and leave what is vying for your attention at the time until your family takes over because they are more important… I missed that moment. Although we have the internet this month (praise the Lord!!!), I was gone and had to wait a few days to find out about my aunt. Anticipation and not knowing was hard, no matter what amazing ministry I was doing at the time in another village (working alongside World Health Organization voluntary missionaries at a medical clinic… which I loved). But this was another moment that I understood that verse. Not only did I understand it, but I was living it. People's lives at home are changing. My friends are experiencing their own ups and downs. Things I would be there to talk with them about, be a supportive friend through, and in some ways go through with them… but I'm missing those moments. Heartaches. Celebrations. Missing them all. (Although let me throw a shot out to whoever invented skype and email and tell them thank you!)
Celebrations and heartaches here in Moldova this past month… celebrating Easter at a picnic/bbq, a birthday party, visiting two orphanages (one of them for deaf kids :), planting potatoes in a friend's garden, followed by going to that same friend's father's funeral, street evangelism, running alongside the Danube River for a morning workout for three mornings straight, playing Phase 10 late at night while drinking tea with our missionary friends here that we live with this month, resting in the park on our day off, waking up early to enjoy my quiet time with Jesus over a cup of 3-in-1 ready made coffee packets (I've stocked up for Africa b/c you just add hot water), and giving my testimony twice about how I came to know Jesus at a home group and youth group, just to name a few things. All of this has been wonderful, but it still hurts to miss the things of home.
But I get it. I get Luke 14:26. Love your family, but love Me more. Miss those experiences, but enjoy the ones that I'm giving you more. Experience the bittersweetness in death, but rejoice in life more. I am a disciple of Christ. And while sometimes I wish I could be somewhere else than where I am, I knew when I signed up for the race that I would be missing things back home. I knew I would be missing people. Events. Moments. But I came because of the things, people, events, and moments that God had in store for me in other lands. And I put those above the moments and events with my family for this year. It's not always easy. This month has been hard. But it's worth it. Being a disciple is worth it. Serving the servants in other countries is worth it. Being a part of new cultures and seeing more of the kingdom that God has created and purposed me for is worth it. Loving people is worth it. Growing as a follower of Christ is worth it. It's hard to miss things, but a joy to be a part of things. It's all worth it. Lord, help me to remember this when I miss the next moment at home.
