Not even two months ago my hole world was turned up side down. There was no longer any normality what so ever. I struggled to find something “normal” to hold on to as life on the race changed constantly. I was holding on to things that I thought would be “normal”. Then, one day, I woke up to find that those things where no longer there, I was right back where I started, in confusion and fear. I started to wonder if I would ever be able to find something that would stay the same, at least until the end of the race. I started to over think things and dig myself deeper into the confusion and fear. I sat in the hole I dug for myself moaping for days, until I looked up and saw the bright sunlight and clear sky, and someone waiting to pull me out. Now, willing to get my eyes off myself and how I can fix the problem; I reach up and grasped the hand of a loving God. As he pulling me to my feet I realize that he was their the whole time. He wants to by my sense of “normal” he will be there every single day with out fail. When I stop trusting him and try to figure things out on my own, when I think I know what’s best, that’s when I fall into confusion and fear. I continually have to put my trust in my savior.
Psalm 40:2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Life is tough and I can’t do it on my own, no matter how much I try. In the past few weeks God has been showing more and more that I need depend on him completely and lean on those around me for support because there is no way I walk through the grieving proses by myself.
