The other day, my parents and I visited St. Anthony Park, the first place we lived when we moved to America when I was 11. It used to be very painful for me to return to a place where I used to live, because I didn’t have that life anymore, and I knew I could never have it back. In my memory, that past life was so carefree and happy, and with every move life just got harder.
[11-year-old Susanna, 3 days after we moved to America]
But this time, I didn’t feel sad returning to St. Anthony Park. I’m realizing that these memories are a gift. God is showing me his love by giving me these happy memories. And God is reminding me of his faithfulness. Yes, those were happy times, and God has many more happy times in store for my future. He gave me these memories so I would praise him for his faithfulness and trust Him with my future.
[The apartment building we lived in–it’s no longer the Missionary Apartments, but for some reason the sign is still there!]
I used to think that my life would have been better if we hadn’t left Japan. But as I got older and more mature in my faith, I realized that it was the pain of leaving Japan that drew me to God. All I knew was taken from me, and it forced me to turn to God for help and for friendship.
I hope to someday walk the streets near my childhood home and school in Tokyo. I hope that experience will cause me to praise God for my beautiful unique childhood, and look forward to the beautiful unique future He has for me!
[When I was 9 years old, in front of our house in Tokyo, with Azusa and Megu, who I walked to school with every day]
I think about my childhood memories often, and I feel so many emotions. But I don’t long for the past anymore. The past is there to teach me and remind me of God’s love and faithfulness!
On the drive home from St. Anthony Park, I heard a song on the radio, “When You Found Me” by Switchfoot. The chorus goes:
“When I found healing for my wounded heart
I found mercy in Your open arms
I found freedom when You set me free
I found myself when You found me.”
Knowing God and knowing he has a beautiful plan for my life has set me free from clinging to the past. I have found my true self and true freedom in Jesus.
“I have loved you with an everlasting love. Therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.” Jeremiah 31:3
“For I know the plans I have for you; plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
