Thoughts I've been wrestling with…
I said "yes" to going on the World Race and things started to change (they actually started to change beforehand), and like most big changes, they are happening FAST! The big picture is following God's lead is taking me to some pretty awesome places, literally. I keep getting asked if I'm excited and the answer is always "Yes!" (Though I found myself the other day saying it more like, "Yeah, I'm really excited…in that completely terrified kind of way.")
However, saying "yes" to the World Race came with a lot of fine print. While I knew going in that saying "yes" wasn't even the biggest part and my mind ready for it, I don't think you can ever be prepared for God's fine print.
Here are some things I found I've said "yes" to:
- Allowing God to truly be the Potter …which means allowing myself to be the clay. A frightening thought for anyone who has ever thrown a pot, bowl or anything, because you know you first beat, kneed and pound the clay to soften it to mold and get out any air pockets to make it stronger.
- Openly admitting my faults to myself and others so that they can hold me accountable in my moments of weakness. Being a fairly private person, this is extremely difficult for me.
- The devil using the same faults and weaknesses I've just admitted having to try to tear me down…and never in a way or by a person I expect.
- Allowing God to perfect me for His work…which means struggling through the storms caused by the weaknesses so that I learn to rely solely on God.
- Being willing to change to become stronger in HIM.
And the fine print doesn't stop there… My "yes" was quickly followed by a "no"…or several… Like:
- Saying "no" to habits or alter egos that do not glorify Him.
- Saying "no" to things I might want but don't need because they don't line up with what/who Jesus teaches us to be or do (or even because I won't really have use for them in 8 more months)… And maybe more importantly, learning the difference between want and need.
- Saying "no" to allowing the devil to be successful when messing with my head. And he's trying.
There scariest part of the fine print, however, is probably the hardest…because it has yet to be unveiled.
I find some peace in the knowledge that God's at work to change me for the better to represent Him… I just have to allow Him to do it.
