WE ARE COMING HOME……..
NEXT month!!!
There are not many days that stand between today and three WR squads invading America again (R squad, T squad, and U squad; shoutout to my friends on T and U squads!) We have seen and experienced a plethora of cultures. We have been transformed by the Holy Spirit. Even if this trip did not involve the Lord, there is no way that we could return home the same, having seen both so much and so little of the world.
As a squad, we have been told about how to handle “re-entry” by our leadership. We’ve talked about it again and again as a squad, as teammates, and as one Racer with another Racer. We’ve prayed about what the Lord has for us after the Race.
We (mostly) know (basically) what to expect (ish) upon arriving back in America.
The people who know the least about our homecoming are in fact those back at home. Yes, there will be much excitement upon our arrival (most likely, signs and balloons and hugs and all sorts of merriment at the airport–and yes, I am expecting that for when I fly into Philly).
But what happens when the initial excitement has worn off? What happens when someone back home does not understand why the Racer they love so dearly is struggling to be back in America? What kind of advice can Racers give to those back in America (or Holland) to help make the transition smoother?
Insert this blog.
This blog is by no means an exhaustive list of “how to handle re-entry” tips, simply because I have never experienced re-entry of this magnitude before. I’m not an expert, but there are things that are important to understand.
1.) Reverse culture shock is a very real thing. We have become used to culture shock during our travels around the world, but reverse culture shock is a whole other difficulty. With the exception of our layovers in NYC and ATL as we traveled from Malaysia to Ecuador, I haven’t set foot on American soil in almost a year. I am not used to hearing only English twenty four-seven. Being able to read road signs and store signs might seem overwhelming at first. I don’t remember what it is like to have anything and everything that I could ever want available at my fingertips. I’m not used to spending a lot of money on anything. I might forget that haggling is not socially acceptable. If I seem rude, odds are that I forgot how to properly act in a certain situation. I very well might burst into tears in the aisle of a grocery store because of the number of choices of everything. I have shopped in a few American clothing stores overseas, and sometimes even just being in those stores was VERY overwhelming, let alone shopping there. I haven’t driven since I left New Jersey. I haven’t had to answer a phone. I might forget that America takes US currency and I don’t have to convert anything. Sarcasm and flushing TP are not universal. Be patient with me as I re-learn American culture.
2.) I will need to grieve losing the World Race and the life that has become my norm. America doesn’t talk enough about grief. Grief isn’t just an emotion that you experience with the death of a loved one. Grief happens–and needs to happen–whenever something that carries importance in your life is lost or ended. Allow your Racer the time and space to grieve as they need. At the same time, do not handle them with “kid gloves.”Don’t shy away from their grief. Don’t tell them to just “get over it” or “move on.” Don’t act as if the World Race is something that is automatically behind them the second they land in America. The WR isn’t just a fun vacation that I’ve been on for eleven months. It has been perhaps the most formative and stretching and growth inducing time of my life. The Race will always be part of me. I have become family with each person on my squad, even those who left early. Don’t be surprised or offended if I compare a lot of things to the Race when I first came home. It’s all that I have known for the past 11 months. Don’t be afraid to step into the hard conversations, even if they seem to come out of nowhere.
3.) Ask me specific questions! Broad questions will be very hard to answer. I’ve just had a year unlike anything else I could have ever imagined experiencing in my life. Asking, “What was your favorite part of the trip?”, or saying, “Tell me about your little trip!”, while you mean well, won’t always be the best way to get answers out of me. Try putting yourself in my position–try explaining the absolute best and most challenging year of your entire life in just a few minutes, on the spot. Not easy, is it? I want to share about what I’ve seen and experienced this year, but I might not know how to fully explain it, especially with broad questions. One idea that I’ve heard to help with this is to set aside a specific time to discuss one country at a time.
4.) Quality time is key. Help me process. Listen. Pray with and for me. By doing this, you are validating both me and what I’ve experienced this year. Ask how I am doing and do it in a way that is deeper than surface level conversation. If you need ideas on how to spend quality time with me, I have a whole list. 😉
5.) Don’t refer to America as “the real world”. By doing this, it implies that other countries are not the real world, which implies that everything that I saw and experienced over these eleven months is not something that you consider to be real.
6.) Invite me to things! I don’t know what’s going on at home. I don’t know who is hanging out tonight. I don’t know what places are looking for new employees. Yes, I haven’t been involved in things at home in almost a year, but I’m home now. Even if you don’t know if I can make it because of work, INVITE me. Reach out to me by including me. Community is real, and my community on the Race is NOT the same as my community back home. I’ll be missing community and being with people.
7.) Allow me the space I need! This might seem completely opposite of what I just wrote, but that’s okay. I might, to quote a squadmate, want to “spend four days alone in my room.” I’ve been around a LOT of people almost ALL of the time on the Race. Having “alone time” that is actually time with no one else around on the Race doesn’t happen very often. I haven’t slept in a room by myself since the night before I left for Launch. Don’t be offended or confused if I just need some time on my own. Even without a major time difference, I will be exhausted. The Race is not a vacation. It’s been exhausting physically, spiritually, emotionally…please realize that at times. Let me rest when I need it!!
8.) It’s not all about me. I’m not the only person who lived life in the past year. Tell me YOUR stories. What happened in YOUR life over the past eleven months? Your stories matter just as much as my WR stories.
9.) No, I do not know my next plan in life. Asking repeatedly and pressuring me will not reveal God’s plan any sooner. I am actively pursuing what the Lord has for me in this next chapter of my life. When I know, I’ll share it. I promise.
10.) Have grace for me and remind me to have grace for myself. I probably will have less-than-ideal moments as I transition back into American life. I very well might end up being really hard on myself at times. Gently remind me that I don’t have to have it all together; remind me to be gentle and loving towards myself and the expectations (spoken or unspoken) that I have for this chapter in my life.
11.) Understand the phrase “same same but different.”This common Asian phrase defines my Race. In many ways, I’m the same person that I was before I left on the Race–I still love ice cream a whole lot, I still love smiling, smiling is my favorite. I still hate peanut butter and I still write all of the time. I still daydream and I still love the Lord a whole lot more than I love ice cream. I’m still coming back as Susan Denise Perry, but this Susan Denise Perry is different than the one who left for the Race ten months ago. This Susan Denise Perry is a new creation. Get to know her. Tell her and celebrate the changes that you see in her because of what Jesus has done in and through her. Let go of any expectations that you have for her and what re-entry will look like. Love her well so that she will be continually equipped for her next adventure, whatever it is.
