Check.
- ü Lice
- ü Miss home
- ü No idea what life will look like
- ü No Mozambique, the one country I truly desired to go to
- ü No rest that I thought I would gain at debrief
- ü No hot showers at a four star hotel
These are the thoughts that consumed me this morning while at debrief. Currently, we are at a four star hotel in Siem Reap, Cambodia with our whole squad before we head to Malaysia. Prior to debrief, I was excited for rest, a swimming pool, and fun times of relaxing with the whole squad.
As I was sobbing on my bed this morning in the hotel, probably looking crazy, my loving teammate and friend Lynn asked what was going on.
I’m tired. I’m tired of having lice a second time. I miss home. I miss Ryan. I just wanted a hot shower, and the water is not working. I wanted rest and I haven’t felt rested at all.
God then started putting these images in my head of babies being thrown onto the streets like pieces of trash, women being abused repeatedly and raped, and orphans with no mother or father to protect them.
God revealed to me how blessed I am to simply know Him. It didn’t matter about all of these worldly comforts I desired as He is ALL I need.
I started telling God how much of a mess I was and that He couldn’t possibly use me.
This is what He revealed to me,
“You didn’t choose me. I appointed you to go to the nations. I chose you to share my love with those who are desperate, are not loved, and who don’t know me.”
“Why me? Why did you pick me when there were thousands of others who were more qualified, more talented, more worthy? It is a question that I have when I look at the characters of the Bible too. All of them were tremendously flawed. Noah was a drunk, yet his faith led God to pardon the human race from extinction. Sarah’s faith was so weak that when God said he was going to use her, she laughed. Moses was so afraid of public speaking that he denied God’s call twice, but the Lord used him to save a nation. David was an adulterous murderer, but he led Israel into its Golden Age. The list of people who were unworthy of God’s favor goes on and on; yet he used them all to do extraordinary things.”
Kingdom Journey
Cha-Me! Cha-Me! Teacher, Me! The Cambodian children surrounded us.
This past month at the school, my teammates and I often got surrounded by beautiful Cambodian children all wanting to be chosen. They wanted to be chosen for being the person who was it in duck duck goose. They wanted to be chosen to lead four corners. They wanted to be chosen to act out English words in front of the class.
My prayer is that they know they have been chosen by Jesus Christ. My prayer is that they know they will never be abandoned by their heavenly father. My prayer is that they know, regardless of the fact that most of them have been abandoned by their Earthly parents and have come from rough childhoods that they have been chosen by God.
This is also my prayer for you, my readers and supporters. Despite how much of a mess sometimes you may feel, God has chosen you and appointed you to share His love and truth. He desires to use your mess in powerful ways to bring healing to those suffering around you.
