I am leaving in nine days. Nine days… that is so small of a number that to be correct with my writing I have to spell it instead of using the actual number. Needless to say… it. is. sinking. in. All the emotions of excitement, nervousness, shame, worry, anxiety, fear, confusion, sadness, numbness, powerlessness, shall I go on?! Mix all of these emotions with caffeine and you have a glass box of emotions.
Now that you understand the level I am at emotionally, let’s rejoice at God’s amazing ability to let us be broken down to the lowest level…. And then to raise us back up to a stronger and more radiant believer. See, I have two clear options here. One, let these emotions eat me up and back out of the race, or two, take God’s hand and say “bring it on.” I chose option two, thank you! This is the beauty of being a believer, although I am surrounded by anxiety, fear and darkness I am okay because I know God will get me through this, I see the light! This is freedom and this is real. This is what having a relationship with God is all about, trusting him through not only the good times but also during the dark times. He will never leave our side. Some people say “How can you do this, just leave for 11 months… I could never do that.” The answer is simple, because I am not alone. Jesus is ALWAYS running this race with me and he already has conquered every encounter that I will have. He is the most experienced travel guide on the planet. Just let that sink in, he has already done everything that I am about to do and perfectly at that. Wow, our God is amazing!
I ask that you identify the struggles that you are having in life. For some it might be easy, others might need to think about it a bit harder, but I guarantee you that everyone has a struggle. Then I ask that you elect option two and let God be your guide through it, trusting in him completely. I assure you God will do amazing things! If you are not a believer and would like to know what a personal relationship with God is like please leave a comment. I assure you, you will find freedom. As for me, there will be moments of weakness, but this is where God can really reveal his beauty. I may be shaking in my boots as I go into this but God will lead me through it.
