This isn’t what I had planned to write about for my second blog. I had intended to post about dreaming big because this World Race experience so far has shown me that God can do unfathomable things when we ask for him to, but I’ll save those thoughts for later…
Today, let’s talk about Training Camp!!!
I’m standing on the boat. I’ve become comfortable in the safety it provides and the stability it gives to navigate and ride the waves. I’m enjoying the view from the deck with my friends and thinking, “it couldn’t get better than this.”
It’s my first time going scuba diving, and I have no idea what I have gotten myself into. I passed the in-class test so I have head knowledge and a basic understanding of how to use the gear, but I still feel a little nervous about jumping into the ocean to do it for real. The scuba guide yells out, “time to gear up!” A mixture of emotions flood into my body. Excitement. Curiosity. Anxiousness. Pure panic of the unknowns that await. Part of me is ready and the other part desperately wants to remain on the boat. I’m thinking that if I’m ever gonna get in, someone will need to push me…and that is exactly what happens. The deck hands yell “dive, dive, dive,” as they usher me towards the back of the boat with the other divers, help me stand up, and then watch me fall back into the waves. I start to believe that I can actually do this thing. I’ve got friends to do it with, and I’m becoming more comfortable with the gear, so with an ounce of faith I duck under the waves.
Suddenly, I start to sink. The first dive it’s 30 ft. Second dive, 40 ft. After that, 60-80ft. I start to descend and then, somehow, I see the sand and realize I’m at the bottom. My mind was blown! It did get better than the view from on top. I could have never imagined the beauty of the depths of the ocean. I’m speechless, and not just because of the regulator in my mouth, but because I’m in awe. There is so much life down there at the bottom of the ocean, more than any photo could show. Millions of fish, coral reefs, turtles….sharks. I’ve had the pleasure of seeing some sharks while on dives. Shock and fear first invade and paralyze my body. Then I realize I have nothing to worry about. I send up a little prayer, and then watch the sharks fade back into the misty blue beyond the visibility point.
After about 30 minutes, the air tanks reach low and I and the other divers start to make our way back to the surface. Once we reach 15ft. we float, letting our bodies readjust to being under less pressure and preparing for what’s above: the waves and getting back into the boat (which is probably the most difficult thing about diving). Then we rise to the top, feeling slightly exhausted, but with the desire to go back and do it again. It becomes addicting. Personally, I felt a freedom. A freedom that only came from letting go, having faith, and embracing the experience of scuba diving.
I’m sure by now you’re wondering how all this relates to training camp. Well…
Reflecting on training camp for the past couple weeks has been overwhelming. Many world racers choose to describe the experience of training camp as “drinking from a fire hose.” For me, it was more like being completely submerged in the depths of the ocean. With everything that happened over those 10 days running through my mind, it finally hit me. Training camp was like scuba diving.
I was thrown into the waters, into 10 days of learning more about the upcoming year, my squad, my self, and my God.
I was both excited and nervous to meet the people I will be spending a whole year with. I’d be lying if I said I was ready to fully commit to letting down walls and stepping out of my comfort zone. I had become comfortable on the boat of life. It gave me stability in life and the struggles that rocked me. As training camp had approached, I really didn’t know what to expect. I have a personal relationship with Christ, I have knowledge of his word and an understanding of him, but there are depths of God that I had never opened my heart to and explored.
I was holding onto the comfort of being above the waters, able to see the surface, but not the depths. I was keeping up my walls, not ready to bare my heart and soul to the squad, and not ready to let myself fully experience world race training camp.
Someone needed to push me.
I got pushed real fast. I was pushed spiritually, physically, emotionally, and relationally. Praise God for the Holy Spirit and for community. By the Holy Spirit’s prompting and my squad’s constant love and support, I began to have faith that I could do this. I could let myself fall into the depths of the ocean and become comfortable in opening up and letting God work. Suddenly, I start to realize I can go deeper and deeper. Each new day came with more willingness, courage, and excitement to press deeper into God and into my squad.
The 31 strangers and our leaders quickly became family. Over the ten days we survived daily workouts, rain storms, and sleeping with the bugs. We shared life stories and made some new memories. We worshiped together, prayed together, and broke bread together. We acknowledged and overcame struggles together; we broke down walls and let go of lies the enemy had been telling us and found freedom. We cried, laughed, rejoiced, and cried some more. We got to spend time in a local trailer park praying for the residents and loving on them. We experienced the Holy Spirit and spoke truth and life into each other. Together, we experienced the beauty and glory of God that completely surrounds you when you allow yourself to sink into it.
It’s the beauty that makes you speechless, in awe of a God who loves you so deeply and desires to give an abundant life. But He also loves us too much to leave us in our comfort. Every now and then a shark comes, something in life that makes you uncomfortable. It’s the mistakes and regrets from your past, temptations, people you need to make things right with, and fears that you don’t want to face. But in a moment, you realize that with God all of that has no place in your life. You give it up and watch God redeem the situations. You become thankful for the shark and realize its beauty because it allowed you to experience more of God. At training camp, we faced sharks of many kinds, but God showed up and moved in mighty ways. I can’t believe I get to spend a year with so many amazing people led by the Holy Spirit!
Then the time comes for us to take what we learned and go back into life, back up to face the waves again. Having experienced God in new ways now allows us to see the trials of life in a new way. We realized that as a long as we have a surface level relationship with God, things will be rocky. It takes full commitment and going deep to see the full majesty of Him and experience the peace and the joy He gives. This is what I felt when leaving training camp. I had grown so much in just 10 days. I had experienced God in new ways. I allowed myself to be vulnerable and broken in front of my new family. I let go of feelings of insecurity and the lies that told me I wasn’t valued. I had been to the depths, and now with a taste of it, I wanted to stay there. But we must face life, we must go back to the boat sometimes because God calls us to do something with what He gives us.
Back on the boat we feel tired, but that’s what happens when you encounter the Holy Spirit. It can be exhausting to deal with our sins and struggles: to be in battle against the enemy. But God sustains us and refreshes us, He refills our air tanks so to say and then calls us back into the ocean to experience more of him.
We also find new people on the surface. They haven’t been scuba diving before and they are experiencing everything you had before your first time. Knowing how beautiful the depths are you can’t help but invite them to join you. Invite them to join you in experiencing the freedom of getting lost in God and surrendering to his goodness. A freedom that I found at training camp by letting go, having faith, and embracing the experiences of those incredible 10 days.
I’m excited that many of you have decided to join me on this freedom journey to see the depths and beauty of God’s plan for your life and others. For those who may still feel like they are standing on the boat….jump. It’s scary the first time, but nothing compares to what you find when you sink into the beautiful presence of our Father.
For Christ and his kingdom!
