It started out as a night of street evangelism with the
purpose of distributing fliers for a live music night at the café where our
team is working for the month in Split,
Croatia. After
distributing fliers and having a handful of somewhat superficial conversations
with various people lounging around the city squares, I sat down, wondering
where to go next. At that moment, the quote, “It’s hard to direct a ship when
it’s not moving,” passed through my mind.
In response, I started walking around the square and my eyes
roved through the people: a couple I had already talked to, a fast-moving group
of girls, a woman begging on the corner… “Should I really approach her? No…WAIT
A MINUTE. WHAT AM I HERE FOR???” I quickly did a 90 degree turn and made a
beeline for her. I couldn’t communicate with her as she only spoke Croatian,
but I mimed to her that I had no money and I would like to pray for her. She
nodded and I managed to understand that her name was Elena. I laid hands on her
and as I prayed in English, tears streamed down her face. After I finished
praying, I hugged her and said goodbye.
When I met up with my teammate, Joel, later, he said to me,
“Imagine how many times she has been passed by, even by those who do give her
money. It’s not the money that she is seeking, but love.” Honestly, I had been
wondering why she started crying and I hadn’t thought about her experiences of
being passed by. Once I started to think about her life, I was filled with a
pain and sadness I don’t think I have ever allowed myself to feel before. Then,
I started to think about the numerous times I have passed by beggars,
pretending not to see them or denying that I had anything to offer them. I thought
of Jesus and how He responded to the poor in spirit and how differently I have
been acting.
Here’s the end result: I still have NO IDEA how to respond in
the future, aside from how I responded this
time, with prayer and love. I still have NO IDEA what to do with Elena’s
pain, but give it to Jesus. In short, I am at a loss. I know I will never
forget Elena’s dark eyes filled with pain and sunken into her pale white face.
I will never forget her tear-stained cheeks looking for something that only
Jesus can ultimately give her. I will never forget how she found a place in my heart.
