During this month of fasting from ministry, I have been
going back to the beginning with Jesus. Somewhere along the way I forgot that
everything – all the reasons I am out here on the World Race, the reasons I
interact with people, the reasons I run, the very reasons I exist – depends on
Love, and not just any love but the perfect Love of my Savior. I am not out
here to see miracles, I am not out here to see how many people give their lives
to Jesus, I am not out here to please people back home, I am not out here to
find my purpose, I am not out here to feel good about serving for a year, I am
not out here to be an example, I am not out here to look like someone who has
it all together…because I don’t. The reason I am out here is to learn how to be
loved by my Savior and to love Him in return. Sounds simple and stupid at the
same time, right? “You mean you went all the way around the world just to be
loved and love in return? Sounds like a sound byte from ‘Moulin Rouge’.” The
quick answer, “Yep, and I don’t think I even did all that good of a job,
because it took me 10 months of trying to fill my quota of ministries and
people prayed for in order to STOP and finally sit at the feet of my Savior to
get acquainted with the Person I am supposed to be bringing around the world.”
People don’t need more of me. They need more of Him – the perfect love that
casts out all fear.
Maybe the greater miracles aren’t the lengthening of limbs
or physical eyes seeing (although these are great gifts). Maybe the greater
miracles are the changes within hearts, the moments when we reach out to
connect on the heart level with people, whether through prayer or coffee or
conversation and love is communicated.
Then, maybe the big mountains really begin to move (Matthew 17:20). I think on
this Race, these are the things I have seen that have really encouraged my
heart – the opportunities to breathe life by just being a daughter of God, an
ambassador of Christ, the will of God in the world. Perhaps that is the only place my heart needs to
be as I ready myself to walk back into the country I call home – a place of
knowing Jesus’ love and being ready to pour it out on needy hearts (which may
be friends/family/myself). I think Dave Matthews said it best in his song
“Everyday” when he wrote:
“All you need is, All
you want is, All you need is Love. All you need is, what you want is, all you
need is Love.
Everyday, everyday, everyday.”
All I really have to give and receive in this life is Jesus and His
love.
