God brings me, I don’t bring Him. This week I was reminded that I can’t hide from or try to control what He calls me to do.
My church started their Women’s winter bible study this past Saturday and we’re studying the story of Jonah. There are so many lessons someone can take away from this story and I’m not going to get into specifics, but the first take-away for me was that Jonah was trying to flee from God. The Lord asked him to GO somewhere and Jonah pumped the breaks. He straight-up ignored God and hopped on a ship in the opposite direction. Jonah wasn’t the first to try to hide from God – Adam and Eve tried to hide after the first sin. Soooo talk about foreshadowing not just for Jonah, but for all of man-kind. We are all fearful and broken humans, and it ain’t no secret!!!
Through the study of Jonah 1 it made me think of how I was fleeing from God in life. Even though I feel like I’m following God’s call to mission work through the World Race – I realize that it’s not a one and done kinda deal. I was challenged to take a closer look at the decisions I made throughout the week and to catch myself when I felt the need to hide – which I realized was often.
Man’o’man there were so many times this week when I wanted to “flee” like Jonah. I was scared for one reason or another. The first thing that I tried to wiggle my way out of was an event called PrayChicago. PrayChicago is an annual event where the 77 neighborhoods of Chicago come together to Pray for the city and worship. This year’s first event was held this past Wednesday in the Southside of Chicago. Leading up to Wednesday there was no doubt that I felt like I needed to go, but when Wednesday came I was trying to think of every excuse in the book not to go. It was far. Traffic would be a nightmare. I was tired from work. I didn’t know anyone else going. etc etc…. excuses excuses. All my selfish thoughts were blubbering out. I was using excuses to justify my fears and was looking for reasons not to actually act on what I knew I needed to do and it made me feel yucky.
I prayed about it and it was in this moment that I could not be more thankful that God has surrounded me with people and community that can give advice and guidance. I texted a friend and explained the situation and lemme tell ya he hit me with some solid encouragement. In short, I was reminded that sometimes the right thing to do isn’t always the most comfortable. My friend’s words motivated me to let go of my excuses and to go to the event. I could not have been more grateful that I did. It was heartbreaking, but amazing. Heartbreaking to pray through all of the violence and brokenness in Chicago, but amazing to have a diverse group of people from all neighborhoods coming together to praise the Lord. I held hands with strangers and we all prayed out-loud in groups – looking around the room I thought ‘this is how it should be’ and I left wanting to keep making that feeling happen.
I signed up for a class called Perspectives which was recommended by the missions group at my church. The course is designed around four vantage points or “perspectives” – Biblical, Historical, Cultural and Strategic. Each one highlights different aspects of God’s global purpose. My first class was scheduled this past Thursday and to be honest I was not necessarily looking forward to a 2.5 hour class after a full work-day, BUT WADDYA KNOW… it was AWESOME. The speaker for the week, David Choi, brought so many things to light for me, but one of the main things he said that I really needed to be reminded of was- God must increase and I must decrease – in other words I need to have humility and completely depend on the Lord. When I try to take control and make things happen through my own will – no matter how tall I build the tower it’s going to crumble without the foundation of complete dependance on Jesus.
This term ‘hide’ is funny when we’re talking about God. LOL we can’t hide from Him – no matter how hard we try. He sees us and He knows us better than anyone else…So why hide? I think that’s the awesome part – God, KNOWS me and you, after all He did create us. He knows all of my junk. He knows my weaknesses, my selfishness, my jealousy, my prideful thoughts, my fears and doubts, He even knows my road rage, yall! I know this isn’t a new philosophical revelation, but it can’t be said enough – instead of letting all of those feelings clutter the junk-drawer of my heart I bring it all to Him in prayer. I’m not saying that you pray and then BOOM you’re super humble. I’m saying that when talking to the Lord about the junk it’s a lot like spring cleaning, but everyday – not just in the Spring. Through the World Race I hope I can bring this truth to people who don’t know Jesus and let them take comfort in the fact that through Him they don’t have to take on life’s clutter alone.
I’ve found that after clearing out the clutter it gives you the fresh perspective to open your eyes and see God’s fingerprints – they’re everywhere. This week I saw them in that encouraging text from my friend, in the tears I shared with others at PrayChicago, in the donation made just when I was starting to get discouraged, in the words from the speaker in my class, in the homeless man that said ‘God Bless’ when handing him food. In each of these moments I can see clearly why I shouldn’t hide from the Lord – because he’s everywhere. Sometimes in order to see that, you just need to stop hiding and clear out the clutter.
