People say, “God made dirt and dirt dont’ hurt” but man it does hurt when it’s flying at you 25 mph in a wind storm. I thought I left the wind in Chicago, but the wind and dirt in Nsoko, Swaziland comes at you full force.
Here in Nsoko the dirt is everywhere. Some would say it’s a stage 5 clinger. You may think we look tan in pictures, but I can promise you it’s just a ‘dirt glow’ that Jergens can’t even offer. Every day before I lay down in my tent I clean aka baby wipe the layer of dirt off my feet that accumulated throughout the day. I can honestly say I’ve never used so many baby wipes in my life, y’all.
It’s all squad month so 60 of us are living in community together. My home this month is inside a one room church where my tent is set-up to keep the dust out. Being roommates with 60 people can track the dirt in real quick. I thought it was fitting that our squad is dealing with so much dirt this month because God has been showing us all that no matter how much dirt we have – he uses more than just baby wipes to make us clean- he uses the blood of his son.
At the beginning of the month we found out we would be doing sports ministry with kids from around the 7 care-points from which we were assigned. During our sports ministry training, they asked which of us had played sports and about our experience. I raised my hand and explained how I played soccer for 10 years and in high school I had a coach that played favorites and it made me feel not good enough and left out.
The man asked “why don’t you play anymore?” I was caught off guard when I felt a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes – I said “because I felt left out”. Why did this thing that happened in high school still sting?
I talked to God about it. He dug through my dirt and revealed the root to the lie that I told myself for so many years. The lie that I wasn’t good enough, or that I didn’t belong. A memory that I had buried came to mind – my senior year of high school my coach cut me from the team. I was cut from the sport that I found my identity in for so many years and in that moment a seed was planted that I wasn’t good enough – I didn’t belong.
We all want to belong, we all want to feel loved. My squad leader, Andrew reminded us -When we give someone the power to say that we belong, we give them the power to say that we don’t belong too. I gave that power to my coach to say that the only place for me was on the bench. It was a lie and that lie was dirt that has been cloaking my true self for so long. The Lord spoke truth into the lie and is gradually cleaning off my dirt. The truth is that I do belong. We all belong with God and he will never leave us on the sidelines.
I knew I would be able to use this lesson to help others dig through their own dirt to uproot any lie that’s been buried. Once we find the root we can ask God to speak truth to us about it.
As a part of our sports ministry, we held a soccer tournament for all 7 care points to come and play against each other. My team and I had both gotten close to one boy from our care point- Simanga, and we were pumped when he showed at the tournament.
He came up to me and asked if I had a bandage and showed me a month old wound he had on his leg. It’s was dirty and putting a bandage over it would just keep the dirt in without helping it heal. I brought over my squad leader, Teresa and we decided to soak the wound and clean it out.
While the wound soaked, we got to talk to Simanga about his relationship with Jesus. I knew he was close with the Lord, but I hadn’t dug deeper. We found out that his father had left him and his mother and after his father left was when he and God got “really close” as he put it. Teresa asked him if he knew that God could speak to him. He said no. We asked what he would like to ask God and he wanted to know why his dad left.
So we prayed, but Simanga didn’t hear anything at first. I encouraged him and said that when I’m praying and listening for God sometimes I can get distracted and I just need a quiet space to hear. Other times God’s voice can be the loudest one in the room. We asked if there was another question he had for God – he wanted to know if his father loved him.
We prayed and the whole time I could feel God saying- I’m his father and he belongs to me, I love him. After praying we asked Simanga what he had heard. He smiled a little, “he said yes”. His father still loves him. The lie that the enemy wanted Simanga to believe was that he wasn’t loved.
Just as we had to clean the dirt off of his literal wound in order for it to heal, we can let God clean the dirt off the wounds of our past. I know Simanga still has more healing to go, but I’m learning this month that it’s not a quick fix – healing takes time and resting in God’s presence is the best place to be.
So I’ll deal with the literal dirt that Swazi brings us because God is patiently dealing with my dirt. Baby wipes don’t wipe away everything, but I’m thankful I have a Savior who does.
P.S. For those who adopted days during the month of September – the wifi here has been hard to reach so I’ll have those to you as soon as possible! I’m just over $300 away from being fully funded!! Thank you again to everyone!!
