My grandmother – “Bawa,” passed in late June. My Bawa was a rock star of a women – gentle, but oh so fierce. She helped lay a foundation of faith in Jesus early on in my life. I admired her love and partnership with my Papou and how they built life around their faith. Her life was a testament of how God can use ordinary people to do extraordinary things. At her memorial service, I read “The Peace of Wild Things,” a poem by Kentucky author Wendall Berry that embodied how she lived –
The Peace of Wild Things
When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives
may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great
heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
It hit me during the service that she was actually gone. Cue waterworks – I didn’t know if I would be able to get up and read the poem. As I was wilting, I prayed and soon an overwhelming peace occupied my heart. I recited the poem and beamed knowing that Bawa found peace reading the same words. She was still teaching me lessons even after she had gone. I’ve held tight to the words of this poem throughout the chaos of the past few weeks leading up to launch, they remind me of one of my favorite verses-
Matthew 6:26-28 “Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? In which of you, by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; They neither toil nor spin..”
Creation can teach us so much if we just pay attention to it. The birds, the lilies, the wild things. The Lord takes care of them, but we are so much more valuable to Him than the birds and lilies – yet we still fear – we still worry that God isn’t big enough for our situation/problems.
The dream of the World Race started about 3 years ago, but I had buried it deep behind my insecurities. A year ago, I was coming out of a low point in my life where I was disillusioned with self hate and clouded by cowardliness. I was brought low, and He saved me (Psalm 116:6). God brought my dream to light again and I saw myself through His eyes; soon I was uncomfortable in my comfortable life and I couldn’t shake the feeling. So I gave my ‘yes’ to the world race and ever since the Lord has been blowing my mind. I still need to remind myself – He. Is. Bigger.
In the past month it’s all been getting really real. I left my job and bid adieu to my home sweet home, Chicago. I sold my furniture and said some hard ‘see ya laters’ to friends and family. After never ending hugs and bittersweet tears, my bags are packed (although I may fall over when I pick my pack up, SOS).
I’ve finished one chapter and I’m embarking on blank pages. I’m eager to see what the ultimate Author writes next – there will be challenges, no doubt, but where there are challenges there are lessons to learn and my prayer is that I have the discernment to see the light and lesson in it all.
I’m leaving with dried tears on my cheeks, but a smile on my face because Bawa gets a front row seat to all of it – I can’t wait to bring the peace that we find in wild things to others.
Next stop, Lesotho! My squad and I fly out on August 8th from Atlanta so please keep us in your prayers. Catch ya’ll in Africa!!
FUNDRAISING UPDATE – $1700 away from being fully funded. HOLY.MOLY!! I told ya’ll God was blowing my mind! Thank you to all you have been praying and donating. Please share, subscribe, or comment below for encouragement and if you feel led to donate you can click the ‘Donate’ button at the top of my page.
