It’s funny how if you would have told me a year ago that I was going to be a missionary or that I was going to talk to people about God or anything like that, I would have laughed at you. God has been changing me and putting convictions on my heart. Not just the kind of conviction to not sin, but more of a conviction to tell, yell and speak and shout the Gospel. Writing it down just isn’t good enough for me anymore. PEOPLE GOTTA KNOW THIS JESUS THAT WE LOVE SO MUCH! Now when I say “conviction” I mean what I say but this kind of conviction feel more like God saying, “C’mon Steven Go for it! Tell folks about my Son! I believe in you!” and as I’m writing this I realize that those encouraging words sound like the words of a father. My father past away Thanksgiving morning 1994, I was 4 years old. I thought this blog was going to be about something else but I guess God had other plans. I remember a few things about my Dad; firstly His smell. Tuscany Promo was the cologne he wore. My mom bought me my own bottle when I was about 7 or 8. I Still have a little bit left. I figured I would save it for my wedding day. (If cologne lasts that long.} I also remember these little Power Ranger action figures he brought me when He would pick me up from day care. I remember taking a nap with Him and wrapping my arm around His broad back. I remember His jacket, watching star trek with Him and Mom in there bed with me sandwiched in the middle. I remember we had matching baseball pajamas. I remember my Dad taking me to my first Braves baseball game in Fulton County Stadium and buying me one of the hard plastic braves hats that’s adjustable on the inside.
I also remember the terror I felt when I saw the staples in His stomach when he became deathly ill with pneumonia. I remember the hospital visits and wondering if my dad would still know who I am. I remember the humility he had to endure as his dignity was slowly dwindling away. I remember my mother crying as she walked out of her bedroom that Thanksgiving morning. I remember the soldier laying the flag on my lap the day of His funeral.
Through this whole process God has been making me rely on Him. Helping me realize that He IS my Heavenly Father. Which I’ve always known, but through this whole process God is showing me what it means to actually have a Father. I guess I pushed away for so long because I couldn’t stand to loose something like that again. But the awesome thing about Our Heavenly Father is that He’s not going anywhere.
Deuteronomy 31:6 – Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for The Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you or forsake you.”
Psalm 68:5 – A Father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His Holy dwelling.
Slowly but surely I am getting to know my Abba Yahweh more and more, and knowing what it means to have a Father. He’s holding my hand, guiding me through the darkness and defending me against the darkness and the lies.
Psalm 119:105 You word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.
So now I remember the conviction He put in my heart, and even in my darkest hour I remember that My God, My Heavenly Father forgave me and welcomed me home. I remember that He has forgiven me through the blood of His Holy Son Jesus Christ. I remember the brothers and sisters He has given me to help uplift and encourage me. I remember not only that my Father has forgiven me through Christ Jesus but my Heavenly Father delights in me! I remember now that I am a clean, blood-washed child of the most High God. Amen Amen Amen!
Be blessed,
Steven Lee Buffington II
