God is teaching me how to be an individual and a man. He’s teaching me the flaws in my views and perspectives of friendships and relationships. He’s showing me the joys and dangers of the mind when we experience human interaction. God has shown me that I can’t have certain unrealistic expectations of others, and that I can’t expect others to act or react in certain ways. They are humans too. People have their own lives, are going through their own walk with God on this race, and their lives don’t revolve around me, and it feels so good to say that.
God has taught me that I need to rely on Him more. Where I THOUGHT people were failing me was actually where I was failing to have the knowledge that these people are totally for me and never against me. I was seeking things in others that only God can give me. I now know what going into that brokeness looks like, and when it’s there to buy into it whole heartily and ask God what He has for me in it.
Brokeness won’t be comfortable a lot of times, but the end result is so worth it. We must always keep this in mind when facing brokeness or any kind of adversity. God is making us better. He is shaping and molding us. The best way to endure spiritually is to buy into what God is doing in you. He is always for His children never against them.
When your on this race know that your teammates are for you. You sometimes may not see it, but that’s when God requires you to know it as a fact instead of seeing it or feeling it, and the knowledge of it will endure when everything else seems to fade. Having the knowledge that your team is for you is way superior to feeling like they are. Feelings fade but knowledge from God lasts forever. For example, would you rather say, “I feel like I’m saved,” or, “I know I’m saved!”
A friend on my squad presented this idea to me back in February, when we were in Peru. Originally he used it in the sence of not always feeling the tangible presence of God, but knowing that It’s always there, 24/7. God has shown me to apply that concept to multiple aspects of my faith. This past weekend was the opportunity to apply that concept. It wasn’t necessarily fun, infact it was painful emotionally, but only be side God was bringing me out of the crap I had been sitting in for at least 3 months. Eventually He showed me that all those things I was feeling really were, in fact, lies, and that if I didn’t grow out of them and become more independent socially, then I would lead myself not only into constant heartache, but I would also destroy my relationships with the ones I love. I thank God for bringing me out of that wilderness and into the brokeness because through that brokeness I have become more like Christ by means of knowing.
Be blessed,
Steven Buffington
