Many of you experienced my recent mental breakdown via my last blog. Truth be told the breakdown was much needed. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt conviction that heavy. During that time I was reading through the book of Hebrews. I was only at the very beginning. After writing all that i did the other night on my blog. I got down on my knees and hashed it out with the Father. (by hash it out I mean me totally repenting and praying for reconciliation, perseverance, forgiveness, and all that good stuff. As I reached the end of the book I approached chapter 12.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”
Then it hit. I felt reconciliation. conviction was still very present, but I felt called out. I felt God’s love. I wasn’t persevering at all. In fact the though of perseverance had totally escaped my mind. If I can’t push through this race how can I expect to push through the rest of my time here on earth? More so, how in the world do I expect to do it on my own strength? Verses 5-7 went on to read…
“And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: ‘My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son.’ Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his Father?”
This passage has gotten me through so many hardships. It’s crazy how quickly I’ve totally forgotten about it. What I was going through was still God’s love. It was just a little bit of the tough love. Soon enough I was reading the soothing exhortations of Hebrews 13. I recommend everyone take a good look at both of those chapters. They will help keep your faith and where you are with God in check. After the discipline comes the soothing stuff.
Most importantly I learned that I need to keep pushing into His word in these last two months. That is what is going to allow me to push as hard as I can and get the most out of the last bits of the race. I feel reconciled, disciplined, loved, and ready to go another four quarters.
Be blessed,
Steven Buffington
