I am so very thankful for all of my supporters throughout the past two years. I’ve had some supporters who have been there for me since I announced I was going to a discipleship school two and half years ago, and I have supporters who just started supporting me a few weeks ago. With that being said I am very joyful to say that I have finally become fully funded for my world race trip! As of January 1st 2015 I opened my support account and saw that I had finally received all that I needed!
I remember when it was two and a half years ago and God had called me to Gospel for Asia school of discipleship, and then about a week after that calling me there He gave me clarity to go on the world race (a yearlong mission trip around the world) afterwards. I remember calculating the cost of both ministries which was $26,500 dollars. I remember the lack of faith I had in God to provide for it all and thinking how the heck am I going to raise that much money in two years!? I had never come anywhere close to raising that much money over the whole span of my life, and somehow I was going to have that much money within two years.
This has been a humbling journey as I have watched God working in beautiful ways to provide for me in spite of me. When I was preparing to go to gospel for Asia I didn’t pray for help from God much at all. I was completely dependent upon my own strength. Which was pathetic compared to what God wanted to do. God saw what I was doing so after arriving to the ministry in January of 2013 God rebuked me and told me to stop. To stop and not do anything to try to raise support other than praying to Him and trusting in Him to provide. So I did and I watch Him bring miracle after miracle and bring supporters that I didn’t even know. He brought two women who found out about me through my parents and God told them to help raise support for me. Not only did they start supporting me but they went to their church group and got about 10 other women to support me! And purely by the grace of God, He brought all the money I needed for that year sooner than I had even needed it!
Then this year was not much different at the beginning. Once again I lacked faith in God to provide the money for this trip and instead of putting my trust in Him I put my trust in people I knew who had money. But still for the first three months of raising support for the world race He allowed about $2,500 dollars to come in, but then it stopped. I had talked to hundreds of people after hundreds of people and a majority of them told me how they would support me and do anything they could do to help me. But the weeks would go on and not one dollar would come in. I would follow up with the people that said they would support me and I got the same response how they would give money to help out. And the weeks went by again without another dollar coming in. At that time I had only one month left to get another $2,500 dollars so I would be able to meet the first deadline which would allow me to leave on the trip. I had started to come to a point where I thought “I am not going on the world race.” Then God spoke to me out loud and He rebuked me saying “I’m going to provide, do not trust in any man to provide for you! Trust in me that I am going to provide for you, no one else!” Then I repented and asked God to help me trust Him more and then God brought the miracles! The day after that I got $2,000 dollars, the day after that I got $700 dollars, they day after that $900 dollars, and so on non-stop for the whole month! I had only need $2,500 dollars so I could meet the deadline and God brought in over $10,000 dollars in just one month! And throughout this year I have watch God faithfully provide in every way.
But to be honest it’s not easy to accept all of this money, and I know for a fact it’s because of my pride! I constantly think about how I have lived off other people’s paycheck for the past two years. I think about how I will be leaving to India next year long term and will be asking again for more support money. I think about how there is nothing I have that I earned; nothing that I’ve worked for and got money and paid for it from my own labor. I think about how I will be living at my parent’s house again as I prepare to leave. I think of my former classmates that have jobs and careers yet I haven’t had a job for over two years now. I would definitely rather that most of my support money came from my own paycheck from a job where I worked for it and earned it by myself, but this is nothing but pride.
And because of my pride I know this is exactly where God wants me to be, living in perpetual grace and growing in humility. The definition of grace is getting something that you don’t deserve, and daily I receive grace from God in so many ways and it’s only by humbling myself that I am at a point where I can receive it. But He is making it so not only do I receive grace directly through Him but He’s making it so that I have to accept His grace through others. That it’s His grace and His providing for me that people give me money from the paycheck. How it will be His grace through others that I must accept if I expect to make it to India next year. I think about how every item I own has been a gift from my heavenly Father even though I haven’t earned or deserved it, but because of His grace and love for me through Christ He loves to bless me with everything that I need. That it’s His grace that He has provide for me parent’s that are mission minded and are willing to love me and support me by letting me stay with them once again. That its grace alone showing me God’s faithfulness by how I haven’t had a job for over two years but I have still never lacked anything that I have needed.
I am still learning humility and just how I must humble myself before God to be able to walk in grace from Him, and how I must also humble myself before others to allow God’s grace in them to bless me. Now hopefully this time when I start support raising for my long term trip to India all of my trust and faith will be in God alone! 🙂 (God willingly!)
Thank you again to everyone who has supported me in so many ways; whether through giving money, constantly praying for me, constantly encouraging me, or always being there for me. Truly thank you so much for this life changing journey. My life has dramatically been impacted more than you can know, and through you supporting me, you have allowed God to use me to touch countless lives. I’ve witness so many miracles and so many lives won for Christ because you have supported me through God’s grace.
Love y’all, and many blessing.
Steve Gonzalez
