Have you ever lost something of value? Something that meant so much to you?
The last few days of debreif have been some of the hardest for me. Debreif is suppose to be rest and recooperation, but mine felt like isolation and a lot of processing. Especially the processing of the new teams coming our way.
In my mind I kept telling myself I was excited for change, but I just kept pushing the hurt and pain of losing my old team down to the bottom because this is a good thing. Change is good, it allows growth and new experiences, and I mean God’s plans are better than mine :).
Our last team debreif came up and I loved it because this was my family the last 4 months. I know I have family and friends back at home, but the closest feeling of home I had was this team. This is where I felt loved, safe, and accepted, and now I have a new home.
Meeting my team was a good thing, I knew the people and I liked the people… but the feeling of home was still lost for the moment.
Time at debreif flew by so fast I felt as if I did not have real time to process, but next thing you knew we were on our way to the airport. We were all sitting in the van when I realized something was missing. My ring I got from Nepal!
Little back story this was no ordinary ring, this ring as soon as I saw it in the store I had to have it. I even had it made in my size because I wanted that ring so bad. There was something about it I loved and when I put it on, it was as if it belonged there… it felt like home.
So when I realized was gone I jumped out of the van and sprinted up 6 flights of stairs to my room and searched as much as I could and found nothing. I was sprinting downstairs when our squad mom and dad met me and asked if I was okay, and all I could get out was,”I lost my ring.” Over and over again I repeated that statement trying to hold back the tears. Then my squad mom just gently grabbed me and said the Lord will restore what has been lost, whether the ring is found or He will do something better.
Not going to lie my heart was still broken and sitting in the van I could not help it anymore and I began to cry. Some people were comforting me and others I knew were praying for me because they knew I was hurting and I was hurting, but it was not just the ring I was hurting about.
When you lose something of value. Something very dear and near to your heart…it hurts. Though this travel days was interesting and hard. I kept giving the hurt to the Lord. I gave Him the hurt from losing a good team and i gave Him the fear of the new team…
And throughout the travel days He was loving on me whether it was my new team mates hugging me and loving me, or my old team mates coming up and loving me and reminding me how special I am to them whether I am with them or not….
So whether the ring was found or not, the Lord was working on my heart to trust that He would restore what has been lost whether it wa with the same ring or a different one. But praise the Lord we did find the ring and i was so thankful.
The Lord will restore what has been lost, and I know He will do great things with this team. I see their hearts and I love that I have been able to get to know them these last few days, and I know I will feel like home soon enough because I know the Lord is good and that He has favor for this team. So here is to a new season and a ne family with Team Relentless.
