It’s been almost 3 months now that I’ve been in Africa with little to no service, & no real way to tune out. Funny how I was able to download movies & music & talk on the phone whenever I wanted (for the most part) in Cambodia. We were able to go out to food places & tuk-tuk into town whenever we had free time. Needless to say, it was easy to keep ourselves busy.
Ethiopia hasn’t given me that same kind of freedom, & it was a little frustrating at first. Without even realizing it, entitlement crept in & I felt like I somehow deserved the ability to call family & post blogs & be on instagram whenever I wanted to. The cool thing about not having any of these things at my fingertips was that I had a seemingly infinite amount of time to really sit with the Lord & not have any distractions. Calling family & connecting through social media are both good things that have the ability to bless & encourage others, but I was taking these good things & giving them a lot more space in my life than I should have.
I’m a firm believer that your amount of growth is proportional to the amount of space & time you actually give to God. My time away from technology was a testament to that. I was in prayer & worship regularly, I was seeking God first before anyone else, I was growing a friendship with Him. & he was giving me all kinds of words & insights of things that I wasn’t even asking for, he was just trusting me with it. Our relationship was beginning to feel more close than any of my relationships with other people. Hallelujah.
As you can probably imagine, I was pumped about all of this intimacy with God, & felt great about this revelation I had about giving him space to move. I was that person who was willing to encourage everyone to surrender things to the Lord because of my own experience!
He sure has a sense of humor, because in the midst of all of this excitement he began asking for even more space in my life. My poor, entitled self didn’t expect that. I say entitled because I quickly adopted the mindset that I had already surrendered much of my life for Him. How could he be asking me to give up even more? Even better, the things he was asking me to lay at His feet were good things. Friends and people who challenged my faith & pushed me closer to the Lord. I was so confused for a couple of reasons: firstly, what was the point of surrendering my friends and peers if I didn’t have the Wifi or service to talk to them? Secondly, they weren’t a bad influence over my life. If anything they’re the opposite.
God made some really great points when I came to him with all of my thoughts on this:
1. Surrender doesn’t only mean laying down the bad things. It’s also laying down the good things too. This fear of surrendering good things almost reveals this subconscious distrust that God cant give us something better.
2. These were things & people who actually occupied a lot of space in my heart. They were competing with the Lord to be at the center of my garden. I thought about my friends back at home all the time & I compared that community to my World Race community. Pointless use of space that I could be giving to the Lord.
3. Surrendering my friends is in no way disrespectful to them. I love my community back at home so much!! The day I see them all again in a few months will be the best! Surrendering them means they’re no longer at the center of the garden of my life. God is. I would never want to take God’s place in someone else’s life, & I know my friends feel the same!
4. God has never & will never misuse your time & space. Ever! I can’t think of a single person who’s said “yeah, I regret laying that down at the feet of the Lord”.
5. God is a gentleman & He would never force me to do anything that I’m not ready to do. Remember how I said he asked me to surrender, He didn’t command me to. God’s always ready, & he patiently waits for us to be ready.
It’s been a serious battle to fight my own pride & entitlement to actually surrender these things to the Lord, & it’s 100% been worth it. I see the fruit of working hard to root myself in God, & I’m sure there will be things down the road that he gently asks me to lay at his feet. I’m beginning to see it as a sweet request. How cool is it that God, the Creator of the universe, actually asks for space so he can invest in us & bless our lives? He’s such a good Father!!
I encourage everyone who reads this to self-govern and see whether or not there’s something that is competing with the Lord for time & space in your life! Don’t be afraid to lay it at His feet. Trust Him with it! In my own recent experiences, He never fails!
