I am just so nervous lately about support. My deadline is coming up in October and i have to have 3,500 and it is looking slim. I understand God can do anything, the money isn't the issue, the peace is. I had three of my close friends tell me in one way or another that maybe this isn't what God has for me, that maybe the World Race in January isn't meant to be for my life.
Maybe i'll go on the July squad or just plain old not go period. This just makes me so nervous because i've been telling everyone about it, and to not go just looks……..i guess shady. I know God has a plan but for once i'd just like to know where and what it is. I never have peace about things, it is always just "well i'm doing this, hope God has my back". I am also afraid about my Job, told my boss i was leaving in January and i'm nervous to see what happens if i don't because she said she was going to look for a replacement and train them through Christmas time. I'm just "not sure" about what i'm to do. Should i start doing Car washes to raise money or benefit concerts?? because what if God doesn't have me go on this trip, then it's all a waste of time. So i'm caught in this "do i act and try to do everything i can to raise support, or trust in God and see what His plan is?" If i bust my but and try to raise all this money and it isn't God's plan then i still won't go.
And that's the other thing, all of my friends and family are putting the money they have earned into my support account and to have it go to waste makes me feel like i'm misleading the money they're giving. I have had this one woman already give me a donation of $250.00!!! If i don't go that's her money she'll never see again, I'm just bummed. You can see this is what i have been struggling with lately. It's constantly in my mind and before me every single day, every second of the day. Please, i don't know if anyone even looks at my blog but pray for me. I need it know more than ever.
Stephen Peter.
