.: No, I really wasn’t :.
I thought it was a huge inconvenience to my life. Unlike most WR applicants, after I had my interview that one Thursday morning, I didn’t have that “anticipation” feeling. I wasn’t anxiously waiting to hear back on their decision. As a matter fact, I totally forgot about it after I hung up the phone. So much so, when I went back to work on Monday, I attended this networking event. After hearing my managers and partners’ career success stories, I was once more very inspired and made the decision to continue to work even harder at my job because I want to be where they are someday. So, when my phone ran on Tuesday, the next day around 1:18PM and the GA area code popped up, I remembered it and the first thought I had was to screen the call. Either they wanted more things from me or I didn’t get accepted. Plus 2 weeks had not passed yet and I had a work meeting in 12 minutes. Somehow though, I found myself answering the call and to my surprise, I heard that I was accepted to the World Race January 2017 Expedition Route and I had 2 weeks to accept the offer.
“What? I am sorry, what? Come again! No way! Really?”
“Lord, I just made a career plan last night. What on earth is happening?”
The next few minutes following the call were a blur. If you were to ask me what was discussed during that work meeting, I would not be able to tell you even if my life depended on it. All I could think about was I’ve been thrown a major curve ball. And I had no clue what to do with it.
.: I doubted and questioned it :.
The 2 weeks following the call, my thoughts and emotions were all over the place because I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.
“Who in their right mind would want to leave their job to go on missions?”
“Was I truly asked to do this by God? Was it HIS voice that I heard? Wait, did I even really hear a voice in the first place?”
“Am I the one who wants to do this so badly?”
“Is WR supposed to be the next season in my life?”
“Am I trying to leave the season that I am in prematurely?”
As the deadline nears and as I was wrestling real hard with my decision, I turned to my sister and reached out to my closest girlfriends for advice. Even though they did not really know what the decision I was trying to make was, they poured into me as much as they could. They even asked me these 4 questions: 1) Is the thing I’m deciding on in line with God’s will? 2) Can it do good? 3) Is it something that you’re passionate about? And 4) if money wasn’t an option, would I go for it? It goes without saying that I answered yes to all of the above. So, they encouraged me, prayed with me and told me to pray, fast and seek God’s face for the answer.
.: But then He told me “Yes” :.
Which is exactly what I started doing after I spoke with them. During my quiet time, as I started journaling and telling God about my day, He interrupted my thoughts and writing and said:
“Remember when you had to speak during your mission in Gainesville, GA earlier this year and Satan was attacking your mind and was making you believe that your story and what you’re going to share with the group didn’t matter and would not have an impact?
-Yes. Sure.”
I brushed it off and proceeded to continue journaling about my day and other things, all the while wondering, why on earth would He bring that up? That was so random. And He interrupted me again and said:
“Do you remember how all the voices in your head just quieted down as soon as you started speaking? You heard nothing the minute you started delivering the message that I told you to deliver?
-Okay I remember. So what?
-Well, why don’t you do the same thing for this? Why don’t you pay that acceptance deposit and see if all the noise and all the back and forth won’t quiet down?”
As soon as I heard this, my heart dropped. I realized that I had no excuses anymore. This was my green light. I couldn’t believe it. I guess I’m really doing this. God repeated:
“Why don’t you pay that deposit and commit to the WR and fast and pray like you said you would?”
My answer was this: “Well, God, you’ve only given me $70 to pay for it? Where’s the rest?”
And here is the story behind that $70. A little while back, I received a letter in the mail with a $70 check from a student loan company that I actually paid off. Apparently they got audited. One of the audit’s findings was that they wrongly charged interest to their customers. They were now required to pay back some sort of lump sum to the customers that were wrongly charged and I was one of them. (Can we just pause for a second and praise the Lord for auditors (aka my people, lol) real quick? Amen? Amen!!!) As soon as I read the letter, I heard a small whisper that said: “This is to pay for your WR deposit.” I brushed it off though; because at the time, the WR was not something I was going to do.
So fast forward to now, in my prayer time, and hearing God telling me to commit and I’m asking Him for the rest of the money. He answered: “Well, don’t you have a job?” (Oh no! He didn’t!) And immediately, the MOST urging and ardent “I-need-to-pay-this-deposit-NOW” feeling just took over my entire being. It’s hard to explain because I felt I could not go back into God’s presence without paying that fee first. It was overwhelming, scary, and strange and I didn’t know what to do with it. So I decided to sleep on it because I thought it was just me being impulsive. Plus, I was hoping that it would go away the next day. But to my “disappointment,” I woke up and it didn’t. So, let’s just say before the end of my work day, I was committed to the World Race.
.: I’m now committed :.
After I committed, I fasted and prayed like I was asked. After my fast ended, God’s given so much peace about this decision. Additionally, He’s used little things here and there to remind me that I am on the right path: sermons, random conversations with friends or people, movie or TV show, or things I observe in the subway. And I am grateful for these little reminders and hints.
However, I am not going to lie. I’ve been wrestling a lot with this decision. Most of the time, I think I am pretty crazy for even thinking about doing something like this. Sometimes, I don’t even want to do it. Other times, I get so afraid and scared that I will fail miserably at this; that I will not be able to raise the money on time; that I won’t get the prayer and support that I need for this journey. Plus, the amount of preparation and work that comes with a trip like this is insane and extremely intimidating. That’s why it even took me forever (3-4 months plus) to even start telling people about this.
But with each day passing, I’m realizing it that fear is not a good enough reason to not do this and fear is not of God. So, I’m choosing to do this afraid and all. I’m choosing to exercise my faith muscle a bit more. I know it’s going to feel really sore at first. But I will be so pleased with the results when I see how “fit” my faith looks. Thus, I’m moving forward with this. I must move forward and I am delighted to have you join me on this crazy ride!
You’re awesome for reading! Thanxies so much
!
A few things:
- Please make sure to subscribe to my blog so that you can receive alerts when I post something new and to stay updated on my journey.
- Please be sure to keep myself, my team, the trip in general in prayer. We need prayers badly in this preparation season.
- Last but not least, please prayerfully consider supporting me financially. You can do so by clicking on the “Donate” button on the left to make a tax-deductible donation online. You will be directed through the process of making a one-time, monthly, or quarterly gift by credit card or bank transfer.
You can also write a check out to “Adventures in Missions” with “Stephanie St Cyr” in the memo line and mail it to:
Adventures in Missions
PO BOX 742570
Atlanta, GA 30353-4470
Or you can go to https://www.adventures.org/dynapay/to fill out an online form for a monthly Electronic Funds Transfer from a checking account. No transaction fee will be charged for donations made through EFT.
