Re-entry. It’s a World Race term that was used in the past to describe our process back into the U.S. It has since been coined ‘transition,’ but whatever you want to call it, it’s currently staring us in the face. In a little less than 5 weeks, we’ll be boarding our final plane to head home to U.S. soil. And with that comes something all Racers are warned about from the time we start researching the World Race and announcing our applications: Reverse Culture Shock.
But, you might say, America is the greatest place on earth. Look at allll of our things. How could you possibly not enjoy every ounce of freedom and privilege you left behind?! Don’t be ungrateful! WE HAVE RUNNING WATER! WE HAVE DRINKABLE TAP WATER!!
And I hear you, I do. I’ve missed home since the day I boarded the plane to India. But I’ve met a God who is bigger and better than ever imaginable from a pew. Month after month I’ve been surrounded by people who have literally nothing and still give absolutely everything. Tiny orphans with big eyes and even bigger hearts have challenged my views on love and sacrifice. And y’all, this stuff just doesn’t pack up neatly into the American Dream.
I’m worried that I’m not going to fit back in. You see, it’s hard to care about the American Dream when you’ve sat with the broken in the poorest places in the world. I’ve simultaneously grown in both gratitude and sorrow for my own home. So be patient with me as I learn to adjust. If I spiral because of a $12 cocktail or roll my eyes at the social media debates typed from your $2k computer, give me grace.
The world has changed me for the better, but some might not see it that way. I don’t care much to work my way up a corporate ladder anymore, although truthfully I never really did. I’m less than impressed with social status and material wealth, and I desire holiness over people-pleasing. I care more about things like clean drinking water and adoption than wining and dining. My biggest dream is to see women rescued out of sex trafficking. And I desperately want others to know the goodness of the Lord… the hope and redemption that he offers.
I’m not the same person I was ten months ago. I’ve learned to live minimally and love intentionally. I’ve lived in places drastically different from home. Some that persecute Christians and any others who hold different beliefs. Others that are bound by poverty and corruption because of their own governments. Every decision has been made on my behalf or with a team of six other girls. I’ve fallen in love with and then said goodbye to ten different countries, complete with ten different ministries and all of the sweet souls that made them up. I’ve slept in over 50 different places, including overnight buses, trains, and planes. And now I’m suddenly being thrown back into my own culture as somewhat of an outsider.
Over the last year, I’ve mourned with you through natural disasters and unthinkable tragedies. Seriously, WHAT is going on over there?! I’ve had to sit by and watch as you’ve become increasingly divided instead of united. And we silently grew apart as I learned to live for things that aren’t of this world.
So if I’m being completely honest, as re-entry sneaks up on me, the first word that comes to mind is fear. Fear that my new morals or life choices won’t be up to par with American standards and will lead to rejection. Fear that I’ll never be comfortable in my own home again… or even worse, fear that I’ll slide right back into my old life.
But fear is quickly replaced with the very next word that comes to mind: freedom. And I’m not talking about your Stars and Stripes, red, white, and blue kind of freedom, although I’ve become eternally grateful for that after ten months abroad. I’m talking about the freedom found when you lay your life down for Christ. The ‘God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind’ type freedom. The freedom that says ‘Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.’
God doesn’t want us cowering in fear at the thought of being a different person. In fact in Galatians 1, Paul writes ‘Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ..’
Freedom in the Lord says ‘you are beautiful and valued no matter what.‘ It says ‘you don’t have to people please because you’ve already been deemed worthy by God himself.‘ He didn’t bring us on this journey to return home discouraged or defeated, although that’s exactly what the Enemy wants to keep us from spreading the Gospel.
I’m proud of the version of myself that is returning home. I’ve shed years and years of baggage and insecurity. I’ve learned to not only love myself, but also others and the God who perfectly created us. I’ve had the honor of hearing people’s stories and being invited into their lives. So even when fear creeps in to keep me paralyzed from diving back into America and my living my next season fully, I’m going to choose freedom instead.
If you’d like to know how best to help me or another Racer during our transition home, check out my super great teammate Ashley’s blog: Help Me Transition Home.
Can’t wait to see you soon, America!
