Do not underestimate the intimacy of running, and the people with whom you share your miles. -Kristin Armstrong
I used to be a runner… like a real runner.
I was the girl shopping at whole paycheck in a race t-shirt, nike shorts and compression socks* ((I know, I know…I’ll probably die alone)). My web searches were littered with training plans and “food for fuel” recipes; the calendar was a constant count down to starting lines.
And yet, no matter how many miles I had logged the week before, how long I had trained, even if it was just a fundraising 5k…I would choke.
The morning of every race I would, to put it kindly…FREAK OUT. I would feel nauseated to the point of panic… I would completely shut down… I became so consumed with fear and anxiety before a race, that I couldn’t speak or put words to my worry.
Once again, last month, I found myself paralyzed. 1st September was less than one hundred days away. Training camp would happen in less than fifty. I had been incredibly blessed by each of you and ready or not, the race was happening.
So, naturally, I reverted to my running days and I coped the best way I knew how:: denial, ugly cry, to do lists, ugly cry, fear, excitement, denial, a glass of wine, excitement, gear shopping [repeat].
To those of you who watched me ugly cry, I’m sorry. To those of you who distracted me, thank you. To REI, you’re welcome.
Then. The streak happened.
Runners World Magazine challenged its readers to run 1 mile a day from Memorial Day to Independence Day. I took the challenge…
And as it were, the streak is helping me remember all the things I loved love about running. It’s also given me a lot of time to think, pray, sometimes cry, and rejoice.
These are my current thoughts from the road::
I have been blessed by a life full of miles and full of incredible people. Running and racing, touring and travel, and, now, the World Race have brought people into my life I cannot imagine moving forward without. I have shared my miles with a lot of people over the years, some more than others…but each of them intimate and cherished in their own right.
But right now, these are the miles I must run alone. These days are the miles that require quiet. Preparation for the World Race is messy. It’s sacrificial and painful some days with sporadic highs. Emotionally, it’s no different than preparing for a marathon. And although I am never truly running alone, some days it felt like it. Some prayers felt forced and hollow, others emotionally draining with no comfort upon “amen”. But little by little, the Running Streak brought with it perspective and rhythm into a life of fear and pre-race anxiety. As the race approaches with promise of sunrise miles to be run all over the world, I find peace in the left right left right breath in breath out rhythm of my body. I become more encouraged with each PR. I can do this, we can do this… He and I. I wogged a marathon… community, squatty potties, and foreign cultures cannot be more painful than a marathon now can they? can they!? I digress…
These days, I fill my days and my miles selectively. Mornings with common prayer and streak miles. Lazy days with a roommate, brunch with a friend, long runs with the new Justin Timberlake album ((okay maybe I could be a little more selective)). It is a season of reflection, of rest, and running; journaling before bed and, on good nights, being asleep before ten.
Tonight, I am grateful for those who have been through miles with me (by foot, bus, or tears) you inspire me and you are appreciated more than you know. You encourage me daily and I would not be where I am today were it not for the miles we shared together. I hope to run together again someday. For those who are about to race with me… I pray for grace and gentleness to go before us and encompass all that we do, every mile we travel. I am thankful for the road ahead of us, the challenges and joys of the race, and the runner’s highs from eleven mile runs in eleven different countries.
*soon to be traded for compression socks under maxi skirts…
