My words were the focus of constructive feedback this week.
Humiliation, defensiveness, and tears. My face burned hot.
“That’s just how I am,” I fought to swallow the words.
The next few days can only be described as the most tender mending from the Word I’ve ever experienced. With China debrief taking place, I have had the freedom to seek truth intentionally. It has been a gift, and I don’t intend on making light of it.
It’s been my prayer during the race to have a desire for the Word put in my heart. A desire that goes beyond discipline and structured reading plans. A true hunger for the Word of God. The gift of feedback I received encouraged that hunger.
PROVERBS 27:9
Oil and perfume make the heart glad,
and the sweetness of a friend comes
from his earnest counsel.
Feedback is a gift, constructive feedback is the sweetness of friends wanting better for me.
Taking the time to receive the gift of constructive feedback and presenting my meek request for comfort put tear stains on my journal. Salty reminders of my brokenness and need for my Savior.
It was no small task for me to face the power of my words this week. To search within my heart where sarcasm, curtness, insensitivity, pride, bitterness, and wounds reside. At twenty three, to admit the times I’ve spoken hurt out of impatience, or jealousy, or out of my own hurt.
MARK 7:15
There is nothing outside a person that by going into her can defile her,but the things that come out of a person are what defile her.
Oh how I’ve grieved my Savior with a hardened heart. How I’ve been defiled by the words of my mouth.
But oh what sweetness He speaks over me! He calls me daughter. He does not relish in my sufferings, but He delights in my development. His love causes me to say, “I delight to do your will!”
PHILIPPIANS 4:7
His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Only with His peace and guarding, my heart will be challenged and stretched and grown this year. With His truth I will fill my heart with tenderness, and kindness, and integrity, and beauty. By seeking Him, will I be filled with empathy and joy, and adoration, and steadfastness, and forgiveness.
LUKE 6:45
Her mouth speaks from that which fills her heart.
Out of broken love for Him, I desire to speak more tenderly.
