I signed up for the race in a moment within a week of brokenness. A week of desperation for seeking out His will over my own. A time when I desperately needed to remove myself from the daily this and thats. The route was adventurous, but I didn't dwell on the countries too much. Cambodia and Romania stuck out to me, but unless I sat down and thought on it I'm not sure I could recite my original route.
All I knew was that I was following Jesus… Mostly into the wilderness with a tent, a few articles of clothing and a study Bible. It was to be a year of discipleship, of going without pleasures and living in all the humidity south east Asia has to offer.
Because after all, that's what the race is about. The race isn't supposed to be fun… It's supposed to be a learning experience. It's supposed to make me holier…it's supposed to be fifty something young adults on a train for nineteen hours trying to navigate the proper squatty potty technique. The race is supposed to be painful and beautiful, terrible in the moment but somehow worth it (and more than a little comical) in the end.
Right?
If that is true, than how am I to react to our recent route change?
• China• Thailand• Cambodia • Malaysia • Japan •
• Albania• Bulgaria • Romania• Turkey•
•Swaziland• South Africa
It was is a dream route.
A journey to countries AIM has never sent racers… A route of containing only four of my original route countries. A blessing of greatness.
My initial reaction was this:: I can't accept this. I'm not worthy. I don't deserve it.
Running through my mind were the doubts of my ability. The doubts that I won't be able to handle a race with excess. Doubts of my inability to say no to Internet cafés. Doubts of my ability to focus on the people in the places of my dreams. Fears that the race wouldn't be hard enough that it wouldn't challenge me enough… my commitment was to live in a tent for a year! How else would God understand my sacrifice and remorse for a life of excess?
It's day five of my race and in the early light of a Harbin morning, I hear His whisper…
"It doesn't have to be this hard."
Comforts from the Cross.
Buy it, buy two copies to give away as gifts and get a highlighter…
Sweet friends… it is done. There is no more wrath, He bore it all for us.
Now, there is only grace.
"Responding to his love and grace is the only way to true or what I call “gospelized” obedience, because all other obedience always degenerates into penance or trying to avoid punishment. Other forms of obedience simply don’t measure up, because love for God isn’t the motive. And if love isn’t the motive, your obedience will always be motivated by love for yourself. It seems upside down to say that God motivates our obedience by freeing us from law and by declaring that he has no wrath left for us, but it’s true, and true faith embraces it.”
The World Race is an adventure. It will not, it cannot, serve as a pilgrimage or penance. These eleven months will not cause Christ to love me any more than He already does in this moment. That love was already secured on the cross. But rather, my prayer is that I may love Him more.
What freedom!
So today, wherever you are… be it race route or not, route full of beach ministry or malaria nets, career with security and 401k or navigating the world of a four year university. Celebrate the gospel. Celebrate that we are freed from trying to earn favor. Celebrate that you are loved exactly where you are, that we need not wait until eternity to experience the fullness of his love poured out.
Lord:: "Please help me celebrate your grace today and respond in grateful obedience for your pleasure and glory."
Excerpt From: Elyse M. Fitzpatrick. “Comforts from the Cross.” Crossway Books, 2009-04-03.
