I was challenged at the end of month 8 to write a letter to someone who recently impacted me, this is the content of that letter.
Mom,
I just wanted to tell you how much you impacted me this month. First I want to apologize. I haven’t been entirely honest. With PVT approaching month 8 there were a lot of emotions across the board for everyone. I can’t speak for the parents but Some racers were really excited to see their parents, others were nervous, skeptical, anxious, even uncomfortable.
I was a little bit of everything but specifically anxious.
If we’re being honest… ALL parents embarrass their kids at one point or another. I think it’s a part of the job description and I also think it secretly gives you guys joy to see your kids sweat and turn red with embarrassment.
I knew you were coming to meet my people. And their people. And I was afraid of being embarrassed. Let’s face it, you never meet a stranger and you’ll talk about just about anything. I didn’t know what the week would entail and I tried not to have expectations but; the unknown made me anxious.
I didn’t know what our schedule looked like, or how much time we’d have together and what would take place in that time frame.
I wanted to apologize because I didn’t assume the best about you. I was more worried about IF you’d embarrass me, than excited to spend time with you. ( which I was, don’t get me wrong)
As the week progressed guilt plagued me. I think I just hid it well.
You surpassed my expectations. You showed me sides of you I’ve never acknowledged before.
Here are some things you taught me…
You taught me about true joy. Joy from the lord. You were always laughing, and always had a smile on your face. You didn’t let our schedule, living conditions, or circumstances steal your joy. You invited people in to dance, laugh, and celebrate with you.
You taught me how to serve.
So many times I saw you take up people’s dirty dishes, and give up your seat to others. And you never had to. You CHOSE to. You offered to carry things to ministry and help people when they didn’t ask. You worked on our projects as if you were working for the Lord You served our hosts, my friends, their families, strangers, and me.
You taught me about having a hunger and desire to know the lord more. You were full of questions. And you didn’t stop until you got answers. You sought wise council from other parents and our hosts. You cried out to God when you didn’t understand. You latched onto the words of my Squadmates. You wanted to hear their Stories and experience Him for yourself. And you did. You had a desire to know him and his people more and you did. You believed he would show up and you’d hear him and you did.
You taught me about boldness. You weren’t afraid to share Jesus with ANYONE. My team. The prostitues in the bars. Strangers on the street. Kids In the slums. Or monks in the temple. You shared your faith with passion and excitement. You wanted them to know the God you believed in. This is something I often struggle with believe it or not, and I’m on a mission trip. You taught me to be confident and bold in my faith.
You taught me how to love people where they were.
You loved the prostitutes for who they were not what they did. You loved them even when they went back the next night. You loved the Buddhist monks even though they didn’t believe in God. You loved my friends and their parents despite their pasts and flaws they shared. And you loved me. Right in the middle of my mess.
I question you, argue, criticize, and mock you. And yet you STILL love me. You still pursue my heart , still desire to spend time with me and STILL You want to know me more. You taught me what it means to be like Jesus in this way, because that’s what he does with us. He loves us right were we are.
You taught me how to love without conditions. By the way you loved me and others unconditionally. You lived out John 13:35 “they will KNOW you are my disciples by the way you love them.”
I’m certain I learned more from you in one week than I did the past 26 years cumulatively. Not because you told me… But because you lived it out. You were your truest self, and that is the self that I love. I think overall you taught about true identity. You embraced who you are. You didn’t act to please people. You didn’t even act to please me. You carry yourself with such confidence, you are secure in who you are, more importantly in whose you are, and that is the best thing you could of taught me. To embrace being yourself, and you taught me… That’s good enough.
