It was our first day of school Soto speak. We showed up at Santa Clara Catholic school in our apple green polo’s excitedly anticipating what the day would hold. We were assigned to Santa Clara to teach English to different grade levels. It is a bilingual school in Juticalpa in dire need of some help. I was assigned to 2nd A, a second grade class taught by Mr. Carlos. I entered the classroom nervous, hoping they would except me. They mimicked the counselor when they were prompted to say ” Good morning Miss Stephanie.” As I placed my things on a shelf I turned around to receive a huge hug around the legs from a small child. “Hello Miss!” “What is your name?” “Stephanie” I responded. “Can you sit with me?” the little girl asked excitedly. “Give me a few minutes” I said. I walked around the classroom shaking everyone’s hand asking them their names. They were so excited to have a Gringa (white girl) helping in their class. They were elated when I told them I would be there for 3 weeks. All throughout the day I would hear random kids saying “hello miss” “excuse me miss, can you help me?” “Miss, can I use the restroom?” “miss” “miiiiiiiiiss” “miss, I love you” “miss, will you sit with me at lunch?” To them my name was no longer Stephanie, it was Miss.
Throughout the first week God taught me so much about these little ninos and God himself. I quickly found out that I have very little patience. These kids didn’t understand English, they had memorized what they had previously been taught. I found myself constantly frustrated, and disappointed. I could not MAKE them understand, nor did they want me to. Most of them just do not care, they are content with Spanish. Most of them talk out of turn, hit each other, talk back to the teachers, or blatantly ignore them, and they have zero respect for the teachers and myself. If you tell them to sit down and be quiet, they listen for about 30 seconds and are right back to running around the room yelling.Coming from southern America and raised in a school system based around respect for your elders, this display of behavior was uncalled for and deserved immediate disciplinary action. The kids here are not threatened by discipline because it doesn’t exist in homes or in schools. The kids do what they please, when they please, and that is that.
Our day starts at 5 am, the bus picks us up at roughly 6:15 and school starts at 7. I constantly find myself mentally, physically, and spiritually drained from the chaos of the day. All I want to do is cry, or sleep. Ministry doesn’t seem too effective and I keep questioning God “why are we even here?” My frustrations have been getting the best of me and it starts to ruin my day. God has been teaching me that I have the choice to make it a great day or not. I can choose to show up and pour into the teachers and the kids with a joyful heart; or I can whaler in my own self pity and question why? As the days progressed I started to develop a better attitude. I started to concentrate on people right in front of me, not my circumstances. I want these kids to be seen, heard, and to experience genuine love and affection. With some kids its harder and God is really stretching me. There are a few kids that need constant reprimanding and scolding. They fold their arms, scrunch their noses, make mean faces at me, and whine “buuut miiiiissss” while I place them in the corner by themselves. Sometimes they yell, fight back, and I’m convinced sometimes they’re cussing me out in Spanish. But 10 minutes later, they are hugging my leg, and sitting in my lap. Then it is really hard to love them, because I’m still angry for the way they just treated me. It drove me crazy the first few days, then I had an epiphany.
They are doing exactly what they are supposed to do. They are showing us how we need to be. They forgive so quickly, trust so easily and love so unconditionally. They treat us the same way God does. The first day I came to their class, they loved me almost immediately. They didn’t even know me, they didn’t know my past, my flaws, or my last name and yet they loved me. This is how we’re called to love one another. Matthew says “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Even when I try to discipline them, scold them, or grab their arm and place them in a chair; they forgive me minutes later without hesitation. Not only do they forgive they forget. They forget everything that happened 10 minutes prior and they are on to the next mischievous thing. Matthew also says “forgive men of their sins, and your heavenly father will forgive you.” In Hebrews it says “their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.” This is how we’re called to forgive others. Not only do these kids love, and forgive, they trust with unwavering faith. They know their needs will be met, food will be provided, hugs will be distributed, and if they don’t have the proper supplies it will be given. They trust the source. They know they can come to school each day with no worries or fears and they will be taken care of. Proverbs tells us clearly to “trust in the lord with ALL our hearts.”
The bible also clearly tells us “if we do not become like the little children, we will not enter the kingdom of Heaven.” We need to forgive, trust, and love like them. It’s amazing to me how they except me for who I am with no exceptions or guidelines. This is like the love of Christ. He takes us in our anger, brokenness, bitterness, unforgiveness, selfishness, worry, fear and doubt, and he extends mercy, grace, forgiveness, and unfailing love. This is so encouraging to me. After realizing how much these kids are teaching me my heart has softened quite a bit. I now look forward to seeing them, and wondering what more they are going to teach me.
Its funny how we hold kids hands and teach them about life, and yet they are holding ours teaching us about life. I would encourage you to take a second glance at the kids in your life, your students, nieces, nephews, grandkids, your own kids, or even kids at the grocery store. Watch, listen, and allow them to teach you some things about life. While you watch and learn remember God asks us to come to him as little children, with the mind and heart of a child.
