In 7 days I will take off to Atlanta GA to prepare for launch.
In 10 days I will board a plane to Costa Rica.
In 12 days my mother will get married to a wonderful man.
I wont be there.
In 18 days I will turn 26 and wont be in America to celebrate with my family.
Recently some of my closest friends have gotten engaged and others announced they were pregnant. In this next year I will miss weddings, engagements, births, and Lord forbid maybe even some deaths.
In the coming year I will miss Thanksgiving, Christmas, A New Years celebration, Easter, Independence day, and many other holidays we celebrate here in America. Although I will not be physically present, I will be here in spirit.
There is a part of me that is sad I will not be with my friends and family celebrating these joyous occasions, but another part of me is so excited because I will make new memories with my World Race family. We will laugh, cry, reminisce, and embrace each other through the good times, and the bad. We will have our own holiday celebrations, perhaps just celebrated in a different way.
This morning in the kitchen after breakfast my mom held me and embraced me as we both started to cry. We shared joy, worry, excitement, expectations, and fears for the journey ahead. For both of us. Although I am going on the WORLD RACE… she is on her own race. We all are. My race started a long time ago. I didn’t need to sign up for this experience to begin my race. God has us all on a specific race. It’s a journey called life. Everyone’s will look different, unique in its own way. He’s going to call us to different places, to do different things, and even do them in different ways. Each person tasked with a common goal.
Love Him. Love his people. Make his name known. Make disciples.
These will be my goals on this journey and I pray they are your goals where ever he has you.
I have enjoyed this last month in the states. Seeing old friends, lots of family, sharing laughs, and making memories. I cant help but feel overwhelmed with love as my days here come to an end. I am so incredibly blessed with amazing friends and family. I would dare to say, The BEST! My heart is so full knowing what it feels like to love and be loved. I pray I can take this same love and share it with the nations. With people who have never been hugged, or told someone loves them.
To my friends: Thank you for laughing with me. Thank you for encouraging me. Praying for me. Staying up late for movies and good conversation. Thank you for fun and adventure. For pushing me. For holding me accountable. For the cards, the lunch dates, hugs, gifts, smiles, photos, vacations, and memories too many to count. You all have been such a strong foundation for me. You have loved me when I didn’t feel loveable, and made me smile when all I wanted to do was cry. So thank you, for being true friends.
To my youth kids: Boooy oh boy. you will never know the love I have for you. You guys saved my life. God gave you to me when I needed you most. My plan was never to be apart of youth ministry, but God had better plans. I count you as blessings daily and I am incredibly thankful to have each one of you in my life. You have challenged me, strengthened me, stretched me, and loved me through some of the best and worst times. You guys are some of my best friends! It has been a pure joy and privilege leading you, pouring into you, and investing you all the love and guidance God has given me to share. You each hold a huge part of my heart. Make me proud, and always remember to *BeALight.
To my family: The love you have shown me through this journey is unreal. Even though you may not understand my heart behind it, you have still loved me, encouraged me, and shown me grace. You have been my rock, my strongest support system, and the heart behind my mission. Children learn best by learned behavior, growing up you hugged me, disciplined me, shared in my joy and in my suffering, you showered me with affection and words of affirmation, and you loved me unconditionally. I want to share the love you’ve given me with everyone I meet. I will miss you terribly. But please know you will always be in my thoughts and prayers. You will never know the love I have for you. I am who I am today because of each of you. So thank you from the bottom of my heart for embracing your place in my life and graciously loving me through everything.
To my supporters: This trip would NOT be possible without you. I have received $3 donations and $1500 dollar donations. Each one with the same importance. Knowing you have donated, prayed, loved and supported me through this whole thing just gives me abundant joy and gratitude. My cup runneth over because of your faithfulness and obedience. Thank you for believing in me, for believing in this mission, and for trusting God to meet my needs and your own. I could NEVER repay you and I am incredibly blessed by your sacrifice and kind gestures. Leaving fully funded is such an amazing feeling. Thank You Thank You Thank You!!!
I will hug my mama for the last time tomorrow, for a year. I’ve tried not to cry even though my heart hurts. I tend to be quite tough and find it embarrassing to cry. Crying has always been to me a sign of weakness, or defeat. I often don’t let people see me cry, so they never know I’m hurting. These past few weeks, I am all smiles, and exclaim how excited I am when people ask me…but on the inside I’m terrified, my heart races, and there are knots in my stomach. I cry my self to sleep sometimes or wake up crying.
At training camp I was told: “its okay to NOT be okay.” its okay to hurt, to be sad, and to express emotion. The shortest verse in the bible is ” Jesus wept.” So if Jesus wept from pure sadness, then I can too. And that’s okay.
I want you guys to know I will miss you. I will be praying for you, and always thinking about you. Please don’t get offended if I do not call on your birthday or special holiday, or here and there just because. It doesn’t mean I’m not thinking of you, or don’t want to, more so I don’t have the opportunity or availability. Life is going to be different for all of us this next year. Change is good, and God is doing a new thing! It’s exciting! So don’t be sad! Be happy! I cant wait to see you and talk to you upon my return and share with you all that God has done and is doing through our squad!
I leave you with this, We serve a BIG God. An Ephesians 3:20 God. One who is able to do more than you could ever ask, think, or imagine. And he is faithful. I have seen his faithfulness now more than ever in my life. If he asks you to do something, you feel a nudge, or still small voice within yourself, don’t delay. He has great things planned for you, that are far better than you could plan for yourself. Proverbs 3:5-7 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding but in all things seek HIM, and he will make your path straight. I pray over all of you that he reveals himself to you in a special way, the he prompts you and you respond in obedience. Even when things seem hard, when they don’t make sense, Trust him. He works ALL things for our good and HIS Glory.
All seasons come to an end, this is the beginning of a new season! Remember: Its not goodbye, its see you later.
Until next time,
Steph
