The Silence Behind Terror & Mass Genocide

Ever since I was young and learned about the holocaust in Auschwitz, I became fascinated and interested in learning about genocide. It was so powerful in my life and I began to realize (as I became older) that Auschwitz was not the only genocide that has occurred in this world, nor was it the biggest. Genocide is something that is still currently taking place in countries around the world today.

On Sunday, March 08, 2009, we took a tour of the city. Our first stop was the Tuol Sleng Museum. This was a high school until the 1970s, when the Khmer Rouge converted it into a torture prison called S-21. Over 10,000 men, women and children were imprisoned and tortured in this place. Included among the prisoners were individuals from ten other nationalities. The Khmer Rouge also imprisoned entire families, including newborn infants. Only 7 of the original 10,000 prisoners survived.

Getting out of the van and stepping onto the prison grounds was extremely difficult for me. And that was just the first step.

Having the freedom to walk into the prison cells, roam down the hallways, up and down the 3 stories in each building was physically and mentally torturous and exhausting. I had to stop several times just to breathe.

I was having all of these horrific images come into my head as I walked on bloodstained tiles into prison/torture rooms.
 
There were metal beds with rods and chains dangling from the bedposts. There was writing on the walls and there were pictures of prisoners being tortured above the beds. It was awful.

A few of us went to watch the educational movie about what went on during the Khmer Rouge. We entered the huge room that the movie was playing in and the room was filled with tourists. We ended up walking to the very front and sat down on the floor right in front of the tv. I was already not feeling good after touring this prison as I looked down when I sat on the floor, I realized [amidst the dark of the room] that I was sitting on bloodstained tiles. It was the most real and heart wrenching thing I have felt. To realize that this was not the place where they killed people – this blood was not from people dying; this was blood from 4 yrs of continuous torture among 10,000 individuals. The realization of all of this made me want to throw up and pass out. It was one of the hardest things I’ve had to witness, feel and mentally and spiritually go through.

The video showed the killing fields in which all of the prisoners were taken to get executed. They explained that the prisoners were blindfolded, thrown into ox carts and taken to these open fields with pits that were dug out. They would have the prisoners kneel down and then they would bash the back of their heads with metal rods and then slit their throats, cut off their heads and push them into the pit. These pits were filled with hundreds of bodies.

 When we left the prison, we drove to the killing fields. I didn’t think that the killing fields would be as intense to walk around because I assumed we would just be walking around some dirt and grassy areas and see the pits and have to imagine what went on. However, I was extremely misled in my expectations.

As we drove to the killing fields, I imagined being blindfolded (as the prisoners were) and being taken to these fields. When we got to the field, we walked up to this huge shrine/statue that held hundreds and thousands of human skulls, bones and clothes that these victims wore.

 Then we proceeded down the pathways to the killing fields. I remember walking toward a pit and just imagining all of these bodies that got thrown into it, and as I looked down, I saw several pieces of clothing sticking out of the ground. I thought to myself, “No, it can’t be the remains of these victims; this happened 30 yrs ago.” However, what my eyes were seeing was completely real. I took my foot and brushed it over the pieces of clothing and realized that they were mostly buried in the ground and had been there for a long time. I was touching the clothing of these victims. I cannot even begin to explain how real and devastating all of this was.

 There were signs next to each of the pits explaining what remains were found at each pit.

 Some pits were filled with heads only, while others were filled with headless bodies.

 There was a tree in which women and children were beaten.

 

 There was also another tree in which they hung speakers to drown out the agonizing screams of terror and death that was continuously heard.

 We were also informed that the killing field we went to was just one of about 400 known in Cambodia. That is absolutely sickening to me… 2 MILLION people killed, executed, exterminated, wiped out…gone.

Just having to sit down and write this blog and go through all of the emotions and images all over again is extremely difficult for me..and I didn’t even go through this tragedy! I cannot even imagine  how the Cambodians feel to this day – the nightmares that they still have, the fear that this country holds; the devastation and chaos.

I have realized that while the world pretends these horrific things do not exist, I have to personally take the time to educate myself on these issues because no one knows about it because it all gets left unspoken…lost in silence.

These people live in fresh tragedy, scars and wounds. They live in such fear of what has happened and what could potentially happen again.

However, although these horrific events exist, so does God. And amidst the chaos, His love and His peace can be found. I took great comfort in that during this tour. Although most Cambodians are not aware and/or are not open to Christianity and God, it is very easy for me to see God’s hand of protection and comfort and grace in this dark place.

[There were plumeria trees in the killing fields..i think it was God’s way of showing me that He was here amongst all of the chaos]

 

I have decided to share a little piece of my heart and bring to your attention things that have and are currently still taking place, so please, do yourself a favor and educate yourself on this reality that we are living in. I can promise you one thing, you will never hear about this stuff in the news and you will never become educated unless you personally invest time into it.

So let’s please just stop being ignorant and pretending it doesn’t exist or feeling helpless because we are so far away from the places in which it does exist.

Please don’t read this blog and sympathize or empathize with me or for the people of this country but be proactive and do something about it. Honestly, if you don’t know where to even start, please just start by reading one of these books [even if you hate reading…discipline yourself to make it through ONE of these books..it won’t kill ya]. I promise it will open your eyes and change your life and your perspective forever.

* Left to Tell Left to Tell: Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Holocaust  by Immaculee Ilibagiza

* A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier by Ishmael Beah

* First they Killed My Father: A Daughter of Cambodia Remembers (P.S.) by Loung Ung