Although
we are starting our 8th month (believe it or not!), we are slowly getting
more used to having to say goodbye. However, just because it is becoming more
“routine” I think it just continues to get harder and harder each month. I do
not like goodbyes
This
month I really grew attached to these 4 little girls at the REMAR center.
Tnela
is a 3 yr old girl who has several other sisters and a mother living at REMAR. She
was always full of smiles and loved to touch my face and pull on my cheeks and
touch my lips and my nose. When we went for our last day of ministry, I could
not find her and we found out that her family ran away the previous day. My
heart shattered…I never got to say goodbye to her.
Nontsetselelo
is a 10 yr old girl who loved to play with my hair. She loves to read the bible
and memorizes different verses that she reads and enjoys. She always wanted to
be with me whenever I was around and really felt drawn to me (I’m pretty sure
she was drawn to the Holy Spirit in me).
Tabile
is 4 yrs old and from day one I liked to call her my little translator. She is
so energetic and loves to talk. Every time I would ask a kid what his/her name
was, Tabile would jump right in and translate my questions to them in Siswati
for me. It was great. She is so smart. She would often talk to me in Siswati
and I would smile and tell her “speak English please!” and she would laugh. She
had such joy!
Pila
is 3 yrs old and I was instantly drawn to her the first day we stepped foot in
the REMAR center. No matter what I did, she would not smile or even crack a
grin. She looked extremely sad, depressed, abused and very much lifeless. It
broke my heart. I thought she would eventually warm up, but that never really
seemed to happen…until I felt so completely burdened by her that I could do
nothing but intercede on her behalf. The scripture Psalm 41 really spoke to me
during this time and I just prayed and prayed for her. Low and behold, the next
day she started smiling. God is amazing!
would have never thought that in just 3 short weeks, I (ME, little ol’ me)
would impact the lives of these young children. I was extremely humbled and
blown away when Nontsetselelo told me she was looking everywhere for me and
asking all of my friends (teammates) where I was when I was feeling sick that
day and laid down for a few hours. I wanted to cry right then and there. I
never realized until this very moment how much she was drawn to me and how much
she truly loved me and cared for me. I had no idea that I even made an impact
on her, let alone any of the other children. I thought to myself: What honestly
did I have to offer her?? Was it the time I spent with her? Was it the love I
showed her? Was it God’s light shining through me to her? I may never know. But
I do know that I have never felt more humbled in my life. It hit me then and
there that I don’t have to preach a huge long sermon to make an impact. I can
hug a child and show them love by spending time with them and letting them know
how beautiful, special and important they are and how much God loves them and
that could perhaps impact and change their life.
is not about some superficial love and attention. It is about meeting them
right where they are at, praying and asking God what their needs are and
interceding on their behalf. It is about holding them when they are sick or
tired and having them feel God’s peace and falling asleep in your arms in such
comfort and peace. It is about playing games and laughing with them and being a
kid with them. It is about telling them they are beautiful and precious in
God’s sight and explaining to them who Jesus is and why He loves them so much.
It’s about getting filled by God and pouring out every ounce of Him onto each
one of them. It is not about us. It is about God
and every ounce of glory goes to Him because we are absolutely nothing
without Him and without the Holy Spirit guiding us.
So
I ask, are you impacting those around you? And who is leading: you or the Holy
Spirit within you?
