As I was wandering around the house tonight praising God for how extremely blessed we are right now and how much He has
just continued to bless me and my team this year, He revealed some things to me.
When God first called me to do missions (and specifically the World Race), He asked me to make some sacrifices. It was hard
at first. But when I finally came to the realization of how much I wanted to serve my God and obediently seek Him, I was
overcome with so much peace and joy with the things I had to give up and the drastic lifestyle change and completely new
perspective that was about to come as a result of it all.
I am beginning to wonder if God was just testing my obedience to Him when I submitted to His will and agreed to give up
everything that He had asked of me. Before the race, He clearly said to me, “The pain and suffering you are going to feel
these next 11 months will be nothing compared to the pain and suffering you have gone through these past three months.”
I just wonder if He is now blessing me (kind of like the story of Abraham with Isaac) because I finally came to a place of
peace and joy to go through a year filled with trials, pain, suffering, and a simple lifestyle. I know He didn’t gear me up
only to let me down. That is not who He is. He has great purpose behind every step of obedience and calling. And I honestly
don’t have to understand any of it – just to praise and worship Him along the way is simply enough.
Throughout this journey I have found that it is way more uncomfortable for me to be content and living happily in luxury
than living a simple life with little materialism. I was so ready and looking forward to “roughing it” this year…and I
still am (if we ever get the opportunity). I was so prepared for the “worst” this year. I was prepared for heartbreak and pain. I was prepared to live such a simple life…having only my backpack living out of my tent with minimal showers, water, electricity, etc. However, that has not at all been the case. God has blessed me more than I could have imagined…and more so with the little things which is what I love. God is stretching me with being grateful for the blessings He continally provides me with. I always struggle with thinking that I don’t deserve the things that He blesses me with…especially when I am working in the slums and orphanages and with the poor. But then He quickly reminds me that this is the life that He has given me and has called me to. And He CHOOSES to bless ME. I should not feel guilty about it because He LOVES to give me little gifts. He knows the desires of my heart and He loves to fulfill those desires. He loves to hear my praises. He loves to see my smile. He loves when I jump up and down and squeal when I get overly excited about the smallest things. He loves the joy that I have because of Him. He is glorified thorough my worship and praise to Him.
I feel like I have been somewhat disappointed that I have not “roughed it” or “suffered dramatically” this year like I
thought I was going to. Granted, the year is not over…but I don’t think that was God’s intention at all. My “roughing it”
and “suffering” has come in a completely different form than I had expected. God has allowed me to feel the emotions and
burdens of the people I have been meeting around the world. He has allowed my compassion to resonate inside and overflow
abundantly. I have been emotionally wrecked and changed forever. And in the midst of all of this, He has allowed me to go
home to a place of rest and comfort.. which I am NOT to feel guilty about..but to just PRAISE and THANK Him for!
He is stretching me and teaching me how to praise Him through the good times because I honestly have such a harder time
praising Him and worshipping Him through the good times. I have always been able to cling to Him and praise Him more in
the trials and hardships. I really think He is teaching me this year to love and praise Him through the good times AND the
hard times. To praise, worship and glorify him through it ALL. To show my appreciation, my gratitude, my praise, my joy, my
laughter and my heart to Him always. Simply because HE is WORTH it.
