When I worked as a summer camp counselor, we would always lead the campers through low ropes initiatives, differing situations that would challenge the group in the way they worked together as a team and individually. One of the challenges that we led people through was called The Maze.
It's like this. But much, much easier and nowhere near as intimidating-looking
Each person would be blindfolded and led into a small maze. The objective was simple: find the way out.
People would at first walk around in a hurry, determined to exit the maze as quickly and efficiently as possible. However, when they kept hitting walls, frustration would set in and the task was no longer any fun. At this point, I would step in to talk to them, asking how they were feeling and if they needed me for anything. People would stubbornly say no, that they believed they were close to the exit, and I would simply remind them that if they needed me for anything, I would come when they asked.
And I would have to go back to watching them, holding everything back inside of me from shouting out the solution. Of all the low ropes initiatives, I disliked this one the most.
There was no door out. Once everyone entered, the entrance was shut and there was no way to physically exit the maze. The only way to leave the maze was by asking for help, realizing that sometimes you don’t always have the answer.
That was my week this week. I had to ask my teammates for help. One of my biggest struggles is with vulnerability. I even struggle with crying and used to only cry every few years. The vulnerability issue comes from me believing the lie that no one cared about my struggles, and that no one wanted to hear about the crap.
Basically, somewhere in my life, I began to believe that I was unworthy of being loved.
I thought that because I was a comforter to people, always being praised for being calm and stable, that I had to always be that way. I always had to be people’s rock.
I am not a rock.
I am a human with emotions.
And not only did I struggle with being vulnerable with others, but I ended up not being vulnerable with myself. I stopped being real with myself and started convincing myself that I was okay. I pushed back all emotions and pushed aside all pain. All that ended up doing was fill me up with a lot of burdens.
Until my team called me out on it. They noticed of course, that’s what happens when you’re surrounded with the same people 24/7. They noticed that after living together for 6 weeks, that I still wasn’t open nor specific about the things I struggled with.
That truth hurt. I wanted to be open with my team. But I wasn’t even sure how to talk to my team or break free from the lies.
So I had to ask for help. First, I asked God. And He said of course, but not in the way I expected. I wanted Him to get rid of the lies, which He of course said He would. But God wanted to teach me a lesson too. To get rid of vulnerability, He made me ask my team for help. What better way to overcome a fear than facing it head on.
These kids are winners.
And through my team, in being honest and vulnerable, God showed me truth. He showed me that I was worthy of being loved and that He had loved me all along.
He broke off all lies and is continually breaking down walls.
In breaking off lies, the most powerful thing we can do is reveal it. Struggles only become stronger when hidden in the darkness and bringing it to light shows that we are no longer afraid of our fears. And through this, we become more than conquerors.
