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As I slipped the box cutter in my pocket to avoid the need
for a workman’s comp event, I suddenly became aware of the comfort I still find
in that simple motion – a frightening realization after all this time. A twinge
of guilt followed closely behind at just the thought. it’s been years since I
have carried a box cutter.
Years later, I know that “comfort” is nothing but a lie, a
pit you step into and fall into your own personal hell. Years later I know that it is only with God’s help that I stay out of that pit. I may like others to think I’m strong and have it all together – it’s that independent thing again – but the truth is I know my weakness here.
“Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous
sins; let them not have
dominion over me. . . Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be
acceptable in Your sight, O LORD, my strength and my Redeemer.” Psalm 19:13-14
I have noticed the struggle to get out of bed lately, the
restless nights, the barrage of thoughts that attack me and enough is enough. It is a struggle
every year around this time, but I am declaring right now that I will not be
pushed around by the enemy – I am not his to push around.
are encouraging – words that are proclaiming truth and life. The meditations of
my heart will be those based in the Word of God and nothing else.
