So why share this?
I share this because “her” story is my story (which you probably already figured out). But to anyone who may stumble across this who needs to hear it – THERE IS HOPE!! I recognize that there are a lot of people captured and tortured by secrets, shame, guilt and fear. It may be the same ones in my past or different ones. I also know there is a lot of it in the church and, as if what you are dealing with isn’t enough, you feel there’s no one to turn to because a good Christian wouldn’t be dealing with this stuff.
I knew it was wrong. I knew God had not called me to live that way, but I felt powerless to control it and trusted no one enough to even utter a few syllables of what was really happening. I gave into the lies that the enemy continually fed to me.
The good news I can share is that I am free! And you can be too!
This week I celebrate two years of freedom from cutting, a shameful secret I carried with me for over a decade. I am not ashamed anymore. I don’t have to walk in fear. But I didn’t start on the road to freedom until I shared my secret. I asked for help, from God and from others around me. Then I rejected help. Then I had to humble myself and ask for help again. It was a process. It hurt. I failed a lot, but with God’s help I kept going.
I had to intentionally place two or three people in my life that were trusted prayer warriors and I had to be open and honest. And you know what? They didn’t run from me. They didn’t treat me like some horrible human. They loved me and continued to share the truth of God’s word with me.
I asked for help from God. I asked for help from others. I rejected their help several times. Then I had to humble myself and ask again. It was a process, it hurt and I failed a lot. BUT it was more than worth it. Because now I know what freedom is. Now I can see others restored.
The truth for me (and for you) is that in Christ:
We are accepted. He has paid the price for us already. We are chosen, forgiven and redeemed. He knows everything we’ve done, or even thought, and it hasn’t diminished His love for us even the tiniest fraction.
We are secure. There is no condemnation – that’s the enemy’s voice. We cannot be separated from the love of God. We are established, anointed and sealed by God.
We are significant. God formed us each with care and love and has chosen us from the foundations of the earth.
I don’t know why you read all this. Maybe you’re a supporter and you received the link and decided to read it (and if you’ve known me all my life – ummm surprise!). Maybe you just stumbled across it. If you’re a Christian who is appalled by this confession, I guess my request is don’t jump to judgment of those in the church struggling – we need your love and prayer, we get enough condemnation. If you’re struggling with secrets and shame, my request is to find a trusted accountability partner and prayer warrior and be painfully honest. If you absolutely feel there is no one that will understand or not turn away revolted, use the contact me link on the left side of the page and email me. I don’t have all the answers, but I can listen.
