Should I entertain you?
We could discuss the chaos and fun that comes with community. Stories
of movies, games and those random moments that can never quite be
recreated but cause everyone to laugh until their sides and cheeks hurt
and they cannot breathe. I love those moments.
Or maybe I could inform you?
Today was all about goal setting, which to me is sort of a tool for
cruelty and torture. In all reality though it is important and we
learned the SMART method for goal setting. Maybe I’ll share it with you
later too.
Or maybe I should just be open and honest with where I am?
“Part of me wonders why I am here in a room filled with leaders,
visionaries, dreamers… world changers. I see it in each of them –
lives transformed by the power of Christ going out and seeing others
transformed. Purpose. Passion.
“Who am I kidding? I’m a follower, a worker, a helper. I don’t lead
people. Instead I run from them, close them off, keep them at arm’s
length. I cower in obedience and just pray not to disappoint.
“I don’t know how to be the person you need me to be. Yet like a moth
drawn to the flame I fly, reaching for things that were never meant to
be mine. I know it will cost it all and I don’t know that I give it.”
That’s a glimpse inside my head. I’m sure you will argue with me that
it is all lies and try to persuade me I’m wrong. I’m also sure you’re
right. That’s the old me, who I once was, but right now it sure seems
to still be me and honestly I’m having a hard time shaking that. It’s okay though. I will go to bed in a few minutes and in a few hours rise to face another day. It will be challenging and stretching and that will be okay too.
