It’s a Sunday afternoon pool party. The Georgia sun is beating down, the smell of the grill lingers in the air, and all around are splashes, giggles and conversations. It’s summer perfection.
If you look toward the middle of the pool you will find a girl hanging out on a brightly colored pool noodle. She is enjoying her friends and their crazy dives while getting burned from the sun’s reflection off the water. Suddenly a friend drags her and her flotation device out to the middle of the deep end and removes her safety. She is left with nothing but sheer panic as she tries to tread water and not cry. The girl is me and the setting was just a few days ago.
It’s amazing how overwhelming fear can be. The truth is I can swim in shallow water, so I can swim in deep water (or so I’m told). The truth is my friend wouldn’t intentionally put me in a situation he couldn’t get me out of. I even understood the reasoning – “You can’t learn to swim in the deep end hanging out in shallow water.” In that moment though, no amount of reasoning, facts, or encouragement was enough to get past the terror that welled up inside and dredged up memories from the past.
In some ways I feel like God is also dragging me out to the deep end and taking away my precious noodle. While deep down it really is my desire and I know it’s for my good there are still places in me that are trying desperately to find a safer way to do it (like surgically attached floaties or something). I have a death grip on the edge when really He’s just trying to do what’s best for me. I am listing off all my inadequacies while He’s just smiling and reassuring me of His love and faithfulness.
I often say that Moses and I would have gotten along really well back at the first part of Exodus.
Moses is minding his own business, tending Jethro’s flock when he happens upon a burning bush that isn’t being consumed by the fire (Ex 3). When he goes to check it out God tells him that he is the one chosen to help lead the people out of bondage. God’s raising him up as a leader and Moses keeps pointing out all the perceived flaws in His plan. When God doesn’t give into that, Moses just comes out and says, in effect, “Come on, send someone else pleeeeease!” (Ex 4:13) Several chapters later in 19 we see Moses leading the people and he is going up the mountain to meet with God in the midst of a rather intimidating display of God’s power. Later we even read that God spoke with Moses face to face like a man speaks with a friend (Ex 33:11)
And so I find hope since it seems God took Moses out to the deep end and stole his float too!
