I lied last week.
Throughout life I have been content to take the back seat, to follow loyally, to serve faithfully from behind the scenes. In my opinion, serving is a role too few people joyfully operate in.
Last week I declared myself to be a-okay following and that I have no inclination towards leading. “Lead” is kind of like a four letter word.
Truthfully in the past several months I have discovered a growing dissatisfaction for hiding out in the background. I am certain it is a holy discontent and one that leaves me trembling.
Serving in the shadows is comfortable for me, or it used to be. This week I’ve been tucked away in the kitchen serving, but I have found that it has left me not being able to build relationships with many of the training camp participants and now that kind of bothers me. It seems I have become an introvert that loves people.
So the problem is that while I know what is comfortable for me I seem to crave the uncomfortable now. I don’t want to be comfortable because it too easily leads to apathy. I have this sneaky suspicion God isn’t too concerned with my comfort either.
My heart cries out to impact and influence others for Christ, to be used by God to awaken and equip a generation… or two… and that simply doesn’t happen from the shadows.
*photo from http://www.chromasia.com/images/follow_the_leader_2_b.jpg
