We are moving on.
It seems impossible
that a month can come and go in the blink of an eye.
Our life is so short.
Before you know it,
you're asking,
"Where did it all go? What have You been doing, God?"
I came on this race to experience God supernaturally.
I expected to see miracles.
See the impossible.
Experience Him radically.
I asked Him the other day,
"What happened?"
This journey has not been what I expected.
The radical that I was expecting has not happened.
I put God in a box.
I had expectations of how He would move this year.
I was wrong.
He has moved in a completely different way,
and His answer to my question was:
"Is what I am doing in your heart not radical?"
Boom.
There it is.
I wasn't sure what to say,
so I asked Him to show me what He meant.
He took me on a journey and revealed what He has done in my heart these past 3 months.
I came into the race with a lot of pain and wounds that I was unaware of.
Of course, they have all surfaced.
God pulled me out of every comfortable place I had.
He showed me that I was hiding the hurt because I was afraid to deal with it.
But,
He does not reveal wounds to make them worse.
He shines His light so that He may
heal,
restore,
teach,
love.
There were many chains that needed to be torn away:
The belief that I was never enough.
People's thoughts define me.
I was the weakest link in my team.
The more God knows me, the more He doesn't like me.
I am worthless because I did not finish school.
These are only a few examples.
God brought me to Psalm 139:13-16
"For You formed my inward parts;
You knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfuly made.
Wonderful are Your works;
my soul know it very well.
My frame was not hidden from You when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Yours eyes saw my unformed substance;
in Your book were written every one of them,
the days that were formed for me when as yet there as none of them."
The beauty of the bible
is that it is true.
All of it.
I choose to believe that it is either ALL true, or ALL false.
That there is no grey area.
I choose to believe that it is ALL true.
Every word.
Every thought.
Every story.
It is all written by God.
Therefore every word, thought, and story belong to God.
So, I choose to believe what He says in Psalm 139.
That I AM beautifully and wonderfully made. (v. 14)
I was not a mistake.
Days were formed FOR me. (v. 16)
I choose to believe that I am
chosen,
royalty,
holy,
called out of darkness,
God's,
"But you are a chosen race,
a royal priesthood,
a holy nation,
a people for His own possession,
that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him
who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.
Once you were not a people,
but now you are God's people."
– 1 Peter 2:9-10
hidden in God,
glorious,
"For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.
And when Christ who is your life appears,
then you will also appear with Him in glory."
– Colossians 3:3-4
the light of the world,
worthy of being known,
"You are the light of the world.
A city set on a hill cannot be hidden."
– Matthew 5:14
a child of God,
"See what kind of love the Father has given to us,
that we should be called children of God;
and so we are."
– 1 John 3:1
God's temple,
"Do you not know that you are God's temple
and that God's Spirit dwells in you?"
– 1 Corinthians 3:16
set free from sin,
"But thanks be to God,
that you who were one slaves of sin
have become obedient from the heart
to the standard of teaching
to which you were committed,
and having been set free from sin,
have become slaves of righteousness."
– Romans 6:17-18
a new creation,
not viewed by my sin,
trusted,
an ambassador for Christ
Jesus died for me.
"Therefore if anyone is in Christ,
he is a new creation.
The old has passed away,
behold the new has come.
All this is from God,
who through Christ
reconciled us to himself
and gave us the ministry of reconciliation;
that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself,
not counting their trespasses against them,
and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.
Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ,
God making His appeal through us…
He made him to be sin who knew no sin,
so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God."
– 2 Corinthians 5:17-21
I choose to believe God's thoughts.
His thoughts define me.
