“…And You Will Be My Bridesmaid!”
Ten days before I left to squad lead for the Race, my man Sean asked me to marry him (!!!) and I’ll be walking down the aisle a month after I get home from the field. (God was serious when he said life would be unconventional!)
Needless the say the days leading up to launch were filled with an array of emotions as Sean and I were celebrated and wedding plans were set in motion: engagement photos and party hosting, venue booking and menu tasting, dress shopping and vision casting, guest list making and number crunching. And of course, choosing the bridal party.
My first wedding purchase was, yes, off Etsy; mini burlap bags elegantly stamped with the question “will you be my bridesmaid”? which I filled with lavender and plum nail polish, the colours of our wedding, as a gift for my girls.
They do it differently here in Indonesia.
The first evening we settled into our ministry location our contact concluded his brief orientation – “Ok? Good. Now. Tomorrow you will go to traditional Indonesian wedding. Be ready at 7:30 am, the Angtuk will pick you up.” (An Angtuk is like a mini bus almost the size of a 15 passenger van, only the seats are narrow benches that run parallel).
Weddings are a big deal in the Muslim culture, lasting anywhere from three to seven days. We were about to experience day three, the reception.
I unzipped my packing cube, pulled out the only dress I brought and draped it over a chair in hopes that the humidity would de-wrinkle it overnight. “Well, it’s not ideal for a Muslim wedding, but it will have to do“.
We awoke the next morning to the reality of the 4 am Muslim call to prayer and suddenly a 7:30 pick up didn’t feel as early as it sounded. After an hour ride through both thick city traffic and narrow winding hills, we knew we had arrived when we approached a parade of people in the street. Hundreds of guests with traditional gift boxes and fruit baskets in hand gathered as the bride and groom were escorted through the street in a wedding chariot.
We were at the end of the street where the chariot stopped, turned around and parked to enjoy a traditional dance and wedding entertainment.
At this point, I was standing a few feet from the bride. She leaned over to me and introduced herself in a thick and beautiful Indonesian accent. “Oh! Selamat Pagi! My friend told me you were coming to my wedding! Welcome here!”
“Aw, I smiled, Makasi! thank you so much for having us!“
“It is my honor. You want to wear traditional Indoneisan dress? My father will take you to my house.”
I smiled in disbief, “oh wow!“
” Yes, no problem, You will match me and you will be my bridesmaid!“
Umm, wait… what!? Is she serious?
I had no context for an on-the-spot invitation to stand up for a stranger on her wedding day! No burlap bag with a pretty stamp or creative gift with a fancy poem to pop the question. Rather, a spontaneous childlike delight and excitement, there was no question at all. Just a confident and joyful “you will be my bridesmaid!”.
The next thing I knew our group was being escorted by the father of the bride to their home where we were dressed in beautiful gold kebayas and traditional skirts. They did our makeup and we took more selfies in that room than I have in a year.
“Now you will eat!” the father of the bride informed us.
The look on the bride’s face as we walked passed her on the way to the buffet was sheer joy! The food was amazing. A whole new array of spices and textures both sweet and spicy; the best peanut satay and sweet ginger milk I’ve ever had.
In the middle of lunch the father of the bride came to the table and said “Stephanie, the bride requests you, come.”
I was escorted to the bride where she hugged me and said “Stephanie, You are beautiful! You will stand beside me and receive my guests. This is my special day and you are my guest of honor.” She giggled, grabbed my hands and said “you are my bridesmaid!“.
“Aww, thank you, you are so sweet! But really, who are your actual bridesmaids?”
“You!” She laughed.
So there I stood next to my new Muslim sister, in amazement that she would ask me, a foreigner, to bless and thank her guests as they came to greet the bride and groom. Shortly after, other team members joined me and to the bride’s delight we served as her wedding party for the afternoon. My heart was overflowing with love and gratitude at the incredible honor and opportunity we had to pray a quiet blessing over hundreds of Muslim guests.
My cheeks were starting to ache from smiling in so many pictures. The whole thing felt like a crazy dream. How is this my life right now? We were expecting to come, sit at the back and take in a cultural experience. Instead, we became guests of honor, insiders, and part of the family.
“God, this is unreal!“
I could sense the delight in his reply, “Steph, this is My favor and you walk in it.“
When it was time for the bride to change her dress, we were asked to sing a song in front of all the guests. Naturally we chose a Love song, because why not sing about the Father’s Love at a Muslim wedding? Singing turned to dancing and all of us agreed that we let loose in a way we never would in America, haha. Indonesians know how to throw a dance party!
The wedding was epic; one of the wildest experiences of my life! But even more exciting than being a bridesmaid in a foreign wedding is the relationship that followed. A week later we were invited by the bride and groom to stay in their home in a village outside the city where we continued to experience the abundance of God’s favour.
I cannot share all the details I want to here for the protection of all involved but what I can say is that Father loves this couple and is pursuing them the same way He is His Bride. My heart is overwhelmed with gratitude at the fact that I get to be part of their story.
Thank you for journeying with me and for being part of mine!
Much love,
Steph
