“For where two or three are gathered in my name,
there am I among them”
Matthew 18:20
It has been a hard week for our team. Physically, emotionally and spiritually. I never realized truly what it meant to live so closely to six other people…especially being on a team of all girls.
Before the race I don't think I ever had community, or accepted it if I did. I ran from intimacy with people and usually pushed them away if i felt they were getting too close. I thought that it was better to handle all of life’s problems on my own. I kept people at a distance and I don't think I even realized it most of the time. I thought the hardest part for me leaving for the race would be this very thing called community.
I have always been one to love my alone time. Back home I would have called myself very independent and stubborn. Almost to the point where I didn't want others help. For years I have felt alone to some extent, even though I have always had plenty of friends…but feeling like I didn't fit in or belong with any group of people. I craved real relationships but didn’t even know what one looked like. Little did I know that this is right where Satan wants us…alone.
The light bulb came on for me the other day. After going through some really hard things within our team, I looked around and realized the last place I wanted to be was alone. Don't get me wrong my alone time with God is cherished and needed each morning I wake up…I wouldn't make it through a day on the race without it. But for the first time in a long time…I was hurt, upset, confused and frustrated and I welcomed this idea of community.
If you are anything like me…you probably have no idea what community really is. I just thought it was a big word the race used to tell us we would never…and I mean never…be alone. Little did I know community meant so much more than living and doing absolutely everything together.
(Photo credit to Abby)
“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”
Hebrews 10:24-25
Community is calling each other into the beauty of who we really are. Looking inside each other’s hearts and calling out the darkness and challenging each other to step into someone we never thought we could ever be.
Community is understanding that we are not perfect and giving grace over and over again when we may not deserve it. But extending this grace because that’s what God does to us each time we mess up or fall apart.
It is praying together and over each other when you can’t even pray for yourself.
It is picking lice out of children’s hair together….then treating each other for lice JUST in case.
It is loving each other when you don’t feel like it.
And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.
1 Thessalonians 5:14
It is eating together (and getting excited when you have an option of a salad or american food!) and fasting together.
It is calling each other into greatness when you feel like giving up. It is bringing to light the areas you may not see in your own life and holding each other accountable through love and encouragement.
It is speaking LIFE into each other and watching chains break off that have held us back for so long.
It is allowing each other to have good days and bad days and love each other that much more.
It is seeing past each other’s pet peeves, bad habits, and different sleep schedules and seeing each other as sisters in Christ. It is not getting annoyed or angry at every time we have to do something we don’t particularly want to. It’s putting your sisters needs and wants before your own.
It is being squished on bus rides together and not complaining.
It is pushing past the awkward silences during feedback (a time where we daily confront each other on things we could have done better or areas we need to work on).
It is laughing so hard your cry and almost pee your pants.
It is waiting to tell the only vegetarian she just ate meat so that she wont rudely spit it out in front of the people who prepared it. HA yes this happened to me.
It is crying together when you are hurt, missing home, or just straight up too emotionally tired and need to just bawl your eyes out.
It’s talking about what God is doing in you heart and in your life.
It’s staying up late, snuggling up and watching movies together from a laptop.
It’s having to sleep so close to each other on the floor of a room that you wake up and realize your butts are touching. No worries. You get used to it. You will have a MUCH smaller bubble after going on the race.
It’s getting lost in new cities together and figuring out how to find your way back to your “home” without having a panic attack that you have no idea where you are.
It is becoming best friends and family with a team of women so willing to leave everything they know to serve God and try to become the woman God made them to be.
God wants us to be FREE from our desire for isolation.
He wants to bring us into the light. Isolation is the exact opposite of unity. This is what we were created for…unity with other believers. No wonder I felt like I was barely surviving back home.
When we isolate ourselves…we usually end up becoming self centered and consumed with our own problems. When we are intimately in relationship with Him and a group of people who have the same goals in mind, we don’t want to sin anymore. Our desires change. Our thoughts change.
I never knew community could have such a positive affect on my life.
No, it is not always easy…in fact, its usually hard. But God created us to live in community with each other.
I will no longer push people away because of my past hurts. I will no longer let Satan come in and tell me I have to be alone and isolate myself when I am hurting, upset, or frustrated. I will allow God to use others in my life to call out my weaknesses, to shine light on the darkness that has snuck into my life, and love on me because I am finally ready to accept it 🙂
It is time to let down those walls and love.
