I am now just 7 days away from leaving for Training camp. I am overwhelmed with emotions but SO excited to see what God has in store for me and my squad!! (GO L SQUAD!!!! Cant wait to meet you :))
….but I am about to get down to whats really been going on in my life and I have a lot to say…so get ready. real talk…
"Giving up doesn't mean that you are weak
sometimes it means that you are strong enough
to let go."
Sadly, I have found myself struggling more than ever. Struggling with temptation and sin, and it has seemed like a constant FIGHT to feel near to God. Its like all I could feel was this heaviness of spritual warfare. So what did I do? I ran to where I feel comfortable and where it felt easy. Doing this I realized how easy it was for me to fall into temptation and for the Devil to speak lies over my life.
I decided its time to truly let go.
I woke up this morning crying out for God to speak to me. Greiving over the struggles I've been facing. He gave me these verses.
"But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of him.
Anyone, of course, who has not welcomed this invisible but clearly present God, the Spirit of Christ, won't know what we're talkng about. But for you who welcomed him, in whom he dwells — even though you still experience all the limitations of sin — you yourself experience life on God's terms" Romans 8:9-11
It finally clicked….OF COURSE some people wont understand the new me and the decisions I am making to follow Him. They dont get it. I have held onto so many unhealthy relationships from my past that I felt I had to keep alive. When deep down I knew that these relationships were just pulling me back into the life i ONCE lived and am no longer a part of. I clung to the comfort of these relationships and the old lifestyle I used to live. It was easy…comfortable…they didnt "judge" me. No wonder it has been so hard for me to move forward. I have been setting myself up for failure by not completely letting go. I have been weighed down by carrying around my old self….who is dead in His eyes.
"When God lives and breathes in you (and he does, as surely as he did in Jesus) you are delivered from that dead life. With his Spirit living in you, your body will be as alive as Christs!" Romans 8:11
…thats right, God delivered me AND YOU. How do I continue to forget this and believe the lies of the Evil One who tells me to be ashamed and that I am not good enough or do not deserve this opportunity.
I AM DELIVERED!!
So as I sit in church today, I was overwhelmed by the Spirit. We sang songs of the power of Jesus' name and how only HE can break the chains of our sin. I have been seeking God so much and really striving to live for Him…but I am not strong enough. Only HE can deliver me and set me straight. Only he can restore the pain and heartache of my past.
"So don't you see that we don't owe this old do-it-yourself life one red cent. There's nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life. God's spirit beckons. There are things to do and places to go!" Romans 8:12-14
I dont owe this old life anything. So it's time to stop trying to please people that don't have my best interest at heart. It's time to look up and find my purpose and everything I am IN HIM ALONE.
Its time to let go, and break up with friendships, addictions, selfish desires and the issues I have that I have let come between me and my Papa.
Today I am giving my old life a decent burial. I am dying to myself today once again and have truly decided to give it ALL to Him. Every little piece. To allow Him to have every bit of me, Its time to get on with my new life and trust that I am not strong enough to do it on my own. But that my Father's strength will be sufficient for me. And as hard as it may be to let go of certain things or relationships….I am choosing HIM.
My little sister called me after I had this awesome Spirit-filled morning. She tells me she was prophesied over this morning at church. She told me a man in her church that she did not know introduced himself and said he wanted to tell her something. He said "When I look at you I see restoration. The Lord is restoring relationships in your life. He has restored the relationship between you and your sister and is restoring the relationship between your parents and your sister. He wants you to know that this restored relationship is real…it's not anything you have done but what Christ has done in you." HOLY GOOSEBUMPS RIGHT!?!
(^^This is Katie 🙂
For those of you who dont know me very well, my family and I have been through a lot these past few years. God has been restoring those relationships but it hasnt been easy. It has been a vicious cycle of two steps forward and one step back…and that was JUST the confirmation we all needed that this time it is real….it is different…and it IS OF THE LORD. Because only He could mend the pain and restore what the past years have caused each of us.
So, I write this blog today to encourage those of you who may be struggling as I have been….God IS still at work and has a plan. Maybe we just have to let go…and I mean REALLY let go of some things in our life so He can come in and take over.
So…whos with me!?! Lets start cutting the ties from our past and truly moving foward with Jesus!!
Just as with any burial, it is going to be painful. I suck at goodbyes. I hate upsetting people and feeling like I've let them down. It wont be easy. But God does promise….
"This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life.
Its adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "Whats next, Papa?"
God's spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are.
Whe know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and Children.
And we know we are going to get what's coming to us — and unbelievable inheritance!
We go through exactly what Christ goes through.
If we go through the hard times with him, the we're certainly going to go through the good times with him!!"
Romans 8:15-17
He calls us to step out in faith and live the adventurous life with HIM!! He has chosen YOU. And I dont know about you, but it feels fan-freaking-tastic to be chosen. The least I can do is live for Him. I trust that the struggles I've been having are because He is about to use me and my squad in some AWESOME ways over the next year and the Devil is freaking out, doing whatever he can to hold me back and discourage me.
Sorry Satan….you have NOT won.
"Courage is letting go of the familiar to make a better future.
At times you must walk away from the familiar to fight for a brighter tomorrow."
