…that's right. In t-9 days I will be boarding a plane heading back to America.
As I sit here and stare out the window watching the rolling green pass by with rocky mountains in the background, it begins to really sink in. I am in South Africa. I am partaking in one of my favorite months of ministry and forming relationships that will once again be terribly hard to say goodbye to. I am sitting here bouncing as the old van travels along the highway and I am…perfectly content. I am at peace. I am happy.
As I look back, I love the life I have lived over the course of the last eleven months. I am proud of myself. I can see how I've grown and how God has used me to help others. I am stronger. I am older. I am new.
I look out the window to my right and stare at the ocean. It is so calm, so serene and so beautiful. Something my life, one that used to be filled with chaos, has become. I have found that as the chaos of the world still continues to go on around me, because of His constant spirit inside of me I can sit in this moment and feel absolutely at peace and content.
I think ahead about all that awaits me at home. A beautiful niece that I have yet to meet in person. A family that loves me and has been through so much with me over the past few years. Reconciled relationships. A half marathon and a month to train hard. An opportunity to go back to school and finish my degree and grow in areas that I am passionate about. A second chance at a life that God may have intended for me all along. An opportunity to form real friendships and open myself to a much deeper relationships centered around Christ.
I am truly blessed.
I can't help but think…how in the world you are suppose to transition from this life to the one waiting for me at home. I am leaving family here that some I have spent every day with for the past eleven months. I am leaving a life of adventure and daily uncertainty to go back to a consistent American lifestyle. I am leaving the beauty of incredible countries to go back to a windy, dusty town that I grew up in. I am leaving friends and community that I have complained about at times to go back to a place where I have the freedom to do whatever I choose when I choose to do it. I'm leaving the "normal" of my life for a new and unknown fresh start back at home.
I thought I would be anxious, and I'm sure the moments of anxiety will come and go. But as I look back, I have no regrets on this race. I feel I lived it to the fullest and allowed God to use me in ways I never thought possible. I have discovered a Stephanie I never knew or never saw within myself. I have learned so much on this race and am excited to take it home with me. To bring the beauty, brokenness and hope of the world and the countries I have gone back home to Lubbock, Texas. To see the beauty, brokenness and hope there. I feel blessed to have this second chance at life and now choose to live it to the fullest.
It feels good to finally be living. And since I don't really know how to transition back home, I will choose to put my focus on My Constant Creator who has already prepared the way.
