I've always known that God is always working behind the scenes; doing miraculous and wondrous things that we may never see or truly know the depth of the impact we have made in someone's life. It is so sweet to get a random email from a reader who has just happened to stumble across my blog or an old friend that is amazed by the journey I'm on.
I remember hearing of the World Race and staying up for hours reading blog after blog as my heart came alive hearing of the stories and adventures these crazy world racers were on. Coming on the race, I try to remember what I felt in those moments as I clicked on blog after blog and how each one spoke to me. I can't help but think that each time I feel the Lord's prompting to be vulnerable about my struggles, my past, or whatever He places on my heart, that there is someone out there who needs to hear it.
I get excited when God presents an opportunity for me to share my story. It's a story that makes me stand in awe of the Lord each time I tell it. Just today I received a message from a girl who is preparing to go on the race in July. She asked to hear my story…I got super excited and prayed asking for His words to be the only words that I spoke. I began typing my story…which even the summarized version is a pretty long one. To my surprise I felt His Spirit leading me to tell more. I typed out a pretty in depth and detailed version of my past, what I've experienced, and how the Lord has brought so much healing and transformation for me as I prepared and began my journey of the World Race.
She responded saying that it was such a God thing that she happened to stumble across my blog, message me, and now be connecting with me on such a deeper level. She could relate to my story and God used my blog, my words, and my adventures on this race to speak someone all the way back in the states. Someone who I have never even met. How stinking incredible is that? She was able to share her story with me and now we can support and encourage each other from afar.
For so long I was ashamed of who I used to be. The things I had been through and the things I had done in my darkest days haunted my memories. I would look back with regret and shame and would usually end up right back in a mess of sin because of those feelings. I would isolate and push away my family and friends that I thought would never understand. I would run to things and people that could never satisfy the emptiness and loneliness I had. It's taken me years to see that Satan puts shame in my life to pull me back to where I was. He would twist my thinking to make me believe that I didn't deserve better and that I would never be able to escape the chains of darkness that had a hold over my life…and I believed him.
It took other people, just like me, being real and vulnerable to see that I was not alone. I saw that people from all different backgrounds, with very different stories shared the same pain and darkness that I once lived in. But they looked different now, they had smiles on their faces, sparkles in their eyes and hope and joy that overflowed out of them.
It took seeing this hope and pure joy that made me realize that it could be true in my own life. That despite my past, God loves me JUST as I am and calls me HIS!
It took time to go back to those places of hurt and heartache and forgive, not only those who hurt me, but forgive myself and begin to see myself in the image of my Creator. Sometimes the Devil still attacks me in this area. Reminding me of who I was or the places I've been…but God makes all things new. He continues to remind me that He can use every single thing in my past to minister to someone else. He has made me a new creation and gives me new hopes and joys each day :).
I never imagined God would be using my story to relate to the lives and stories of other girls literally all over the world! I share this to encourage you to not sit in silence. Do not allow the Devil to tell you lies that you are unworthy, too far gone, or that you will never have a better life.
If you need proof…I have it, my new sister and friend Haleigh has it, and I have 57 squad mates who have proof of it too! Freedom is waiting for you. All it takes is the risk to be real. To be vulnerable. To let go of the pain and sin you are holding onto and run after the life God has waiting for you!
God sets up these divine appointments for each of us. Placing specific people in our paths who need to hear our story, and receive the encouragement, hope, and freedom that He has given us. So don't hold back. Spread YOUR story. You never know who needs to hear it and receive just a little bit of sunshine in their darkest days.
