Over the past few months, I have felt the Lord speaking to me that I was entering a time of rest and discipleship. I wasn’t sure what it meant until this last debrief. After spending days fasting and praying…I truly felt it was time to step down from leadership and let one of my girls have the opportunity to be raised up as leader.
The Lord gave me such a peace about this as I told my team and began to disciple Shari to lead our team and step up as I took the back seat for a while. It was hard as I realized it was giving up more control, and also entering a season of the unknown. Being a leader on the race is all I knew and honestly it had become second nature to me. The first few days after stepping down were hard. I had to check my heart and make sure that my identity was securely rooted in Him as I felt like I wasn’t “doing” anything.
(Shari, our new wise, beautiful, and strong team leader)
Since becoming a team member for the first time on the race…I have experienced SUCH a joy and new freedom I don’t think I had quite experienced yet.
He has opened my eyes to a new freedom that I don’t think I ever could have felt while still in leadership. I am blessed to have an amazing team that supported me as I entered this season of rest and time to seek more intimacy with Him. I felt Him saying that these last three months would be a time filled with newness, intimacy, and MORE freedom!! Each day I feel more freedom and a new passion that must have been lying under all the pressure and responsibility of leading.
Through this…I have learned that sometimes we must follow His voice even though it may not make sense. Will we listen and move even if we aren’t sure of where exactly He is leading us? Will we make hard decisions and follow His calling even if others around us do not agree? Will we trust His steady voice over our scattered thoughts? Will we lay down pride, control, and titles to be in a place of more intimacy with Him?
I did, and it didn’t make sense….at first.
Now I see exactly what He was doing and each day He blesses me just a little bit more…
Blessing #1: Uganda
Uganda is incredible. I have experienced so many new things here and He has restored my joy and has called me into a season of rest that has been just what I needed. He always seems to do that right when I need it.
This month we arrived in Uganda not really sure what we would be doing. We were blessed beyond belief from the moment we arrived! The drive here was breath taking. I thought to myself, “THIS is Africa..” The bright green scenery with what I call the “flattop” trees! The grass huts and beautiful African women carrying water jugs on their heads. We arrived not really having a place to stay, but God always provides. We unloaded our packs in the pouring rain and posted up in a dorm room at one of the schools here. We got to experience the most freeing outdoor bucket showers I’ve ever had. There is nothing quite like showering in the sunshine using your hands to splash water over yourself as others could easily walk around a corner and see you.
There is something so free and wonderful about Uganda. I love the people, the culture, and the beauty of it all.
Blessing #2: Fellowship
Our first few days here we met up with another team that was here from TEXAS!! We were able to worship and do ministry with them. We were SO blessed as they poured into us and gave us life that we needed as we entered month 9. We got to see first hand how they have been trained so well and equipped to share the gospel with complete strangers. We learned so much from their joy, excitement, and boldness in Christ. They were ON FIRE…and we needed our flame to be relit. I was so encouraged by them and so very sad to see them leave only a few short days later. We are blessed to pick up where they have left off here and help a family of missionaries here in Lira, Uganda. We are going out every day meeting people, sharing the gospel, and looking for people that are hungry to be discipled and spread the Word to their friends and families!
I also had the sweet blessing of "running into" a missionary here named Micaela.
She is a single young missionary that is just here following her calling to the children in Uganda. She is incredible. I was told through a mutual friend to try and get in touch with her while we were here…but after not hearing back from her I didn't think it would happen. Instead, God just happened to place us in the EXACT same town in Uganda at the EXACT same school. What a sweet moment when we realized that we knew each other!!
Blessing #3: Retreat, laughter, and a GYM!
Every few months we have a leadership retreat. Although I had just stepped down from my role as leader, they still invited me to come rest and fellowship with the other leaders.
It was such an incredible few days. I got to bond and help encourage Shari, who stepped up on our team as leader. I was able to rest, relax, and just explore this new role for a few days away from the team. I laughed so hard that I couldn’t stop….I was literally crying and believe I might have been on the verge of peeing my pants. I needed a good belly laugh more than words can even express. I was able to have internet at the perfect time to watch my little sister walk across the stage and graduate from college! AND the Lord provided an afternoon and access to a gym….my happy place that is hard, if not impossible, to find on the race.
Blessing #4: A winter coat.
We found out that our last two countries will be C.O.L.D. especially since we have spent the majority of our race constantly sweating as we have traveled along the equator. Most of us didn’t bring warm clothes and if we did, we have ditched most of them by now. We were out doing ATL’s (Where we just go out and Ask The Lord to move and lead us where He wants us to go) and we felt a nudge to go to the market. As we walked around the small market, we were drawn to some incredible, fun jackets.
Trying them on was fun enough for me as we were sweating and dreaming of cold weather. We were able to talk to the young man who owned the stall and was selling the jackets. My friend, Kaitlyn, was able to share the gospel with him and in a quick moment, just like that, we had formed a relationship and found a young man hungry to be discipled and were able to connect him with the ministry that is already here and working.
Blessing #5: A nose ring and an identity check.
I have done pretty well over the course of the race hanging onto my things…but for some reason this month…I have been losing random belongings. Each time I lose something, instead of getting upset, I try to see the reason behind it and let God show up. For instance, I lost my headphones…so I took the hint that maybe I run to my “alone time” and stick my headphones in a little too quickly on our road trips. From realizing that, I was able to not only find new headphones, but also have had many amazing conversations through just not having my headphones in constantly.
On the leaders retreat…I lost my nose ring. This thing has been in there since before the race and I had brought an extra but had given it away back in month two. The only one I had left was a hoop. I had told my team I would probably never put it in because I only wore it when I was “going crazy” in my life. Welp, I had the choice…no nose ring or put in the hoop. I feel naked without it so I put the hoop in and realized how I had to check my heart yet again. When people noticed the hoop and made comments, I realized the insecurity it brought. My life is not defined by a nose ring. My identity is not defined by whether I wear a cute little stud or a hoop. This may sound silly to you, but the Lord really worked in my heart as He showed me that even after the race, as I face things in my past or people that only know me for who I was before…I am only defined by who He is in me and who He says that I am.
Today as we went out to meet people, I felt drawn to this little road. We didn’t see many women down it, so it was a little discouraging. Then we saw a TINY little shop with some jewelry. I was told I wouldn’t be able to find any earrings….but God provided and if I wasn’t in need of a new nose ring I may never have looked twice. We got to meet a sweet twenty-two year old named Lucy. She is a single mom that is following the Lord and needed encouragement. She just happened to have her Bible opened before we walked up and we were able to read scripture together and talk about it. We were able to pray healing over her because she had Malaria. It was such a sweet moment and I plan on going back each day we are here to help her grow in her faith and encourage her! I also was able to help bless her business and buy a much smaller hoop nose ring…which will do. See, He even provides in the smallest, unimportant things!
Blessing #6: An epiphany.
Maybe sometimes God allows little things to happen so that we might be able to share His love with someone else. I had this epiphany this month that maybe God allows me to lose something small so that He can bless me in a bigger way. That He may call me to step down from leadership only to bless me in a completely new way and teach me so much more than I could have ever found in these last three months. That He may give me an opportunity to grow and become more secure in my identity in Him no matter what the circumstances.
He continues to prepare me for my future and mold me into this woman He has always created me to be. What a fun adventure to be on with Him…
