So I figured it is about that time to let you all in on the BIG secret…
What will I be doing after the race?
Well, Let me tell you the story.
Before the race….
I found my identity in the approval of guys, pleasing others, and making sure I was put together and looked like I had it all together on the outside.
I ran to unhealthy addictions to cope with pain and the overwhelming trials in my life.
I pushed away my family and anyone who wanted to genuinely love me and help me.
I was "independent" and didn't need anyone.
I took on the perceptions of others as my own.
I didn't know what I believed and didn't know who I truly was.
I hated who I was and felt like Paul in Romans 7:15-18 when he says, “15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.”
I was continuously seeking where The Lord wanted me but kept falling into what was easy or what I felt like I "should" be doing. I heard him whisper that He had been preparing me…through all I had been through in my life…to go make disciples. He reminded me to set my eyes on things above and not on earthly things. As I did, I realized I was made for more and that it was to begin on The World Race.
The World Race is like a makeover of the soul. We all sign up thinking we are going to go change the world! But somewhere along the way as we abandon our "normal" and embrace the unknown adventures of the race. We find ourselves becoming a whole new person.
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.
The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
If we are willing, we go through the process of abandonment, brokenness and dependency. We are fully immersed in a culture of complete dependency and vulnerability on a team of people that become our family. We laugh, cry, run, dance, sing, worship, travel, and bring Kingdom wherever we go.
I knew I would be coming home dirty, well-traveled and hungry for American food. What I didn't realize, is that I would be coming home with a new personality, maturity, and heightened awareness and perspective on life as well. And don’t even get me started on my new love for Jesus and people…
As I laid down each painful memory of my past and gave Him each wounded piece of my heart, He began to form me into this new being.
Now, fast forward…
As I sit here in Lira, Uganda, I am absolutely blown away as I look back at all He has done in my life.
He has slowly been preparing me for what is next…and although I knew He was closing the door on my former career and what my life looked like before I left…I had no idea the doors that would open for my future.
Just about six years ago…before my life spiraled out of control. I had this passion to go to school for Nutrition. Satan lured me away from this vision so many times that I had forgotten it was even my hearts desire at one point.
In month 4, I heard Him whisper that I would go back and finish my degree after the race and that I would live with my little sister who was applying for Medical School. I almost laughed and told Him I would need proof to believe that is where He wanted me! My sister and I were still working through all of the pain and trust issues that my years of rebelling caused and she didn’t even live in the town that He was calling me back to. It just didn't make sense.
…but He had a bigger plan.
He did open doors…multiple ones.
He revived a passion deep in my heart for Health and Nutrition and showed me how He could use my past to help bring freedom to others in this industry.
So, what does the post-race makeover look like?
I have found my true identity as a Daughter of the King.
I am not defined by what others think of me.
I am only who HE says I am.
I do not have to have it all together.
I am weak, but HE IS STRONG.
I, now, run (literally) to cope with frustrations and get out in His nature and see His beauty.
I run TO the community He has blessed me with to cope and deal with pain and trials.
I welcome my family into my life, down to every little nitty gritty detail because I love them.
I know how to love and let others love me.
I have learned to have a healthy dependency on others.
I am nothing without Him.
I need Him and the family He has given me.
I rely on Him because at times He is all I have.
I know what I believe because I have been living it out daily.
I know who He is because He has been there every step of the way.
I have authority to conquer Satan and his evil schemes because of His spirit inside of me.
I know where He wants me because He speaks to me.
I am able to love others and follow His voice
because I have received His unconditional love for me.
When I arrive home, I will spend a few weeks catching up with friends and loving on my family. I will rest and recuperate from 11 months on the field, and get settled into my NEW HOME.
WHERE AND WHAT WILL I BE DOING?!
He has called me to Lubbock, Texas for this next season of my life.
He has provided a house where I will be living with my little sister (just as He promised 🙂) and I will be going back to school starting in the fall.
I am enrolled at Texas Tech University and can hardly wait to get back and begin to further my knowledge and education. I will be seeking a Bachelor's of Science in Nutrition with a concentration in Nutrition, Health, and Wellness. I hope to help people in the future that struggle with self-esteem, weight issues, eating disorders and losing weight in a healthy way.
I also recently started training for my second half marathon that I will run along side of my Dad as he runs the full marathon in Pocatello, Idaho a month after arriving back in the states.
I am looking forward to finding community in Lubbock and exploring how the Lord plans to use me there during this next season of life.
Please support me in prayer for Him to prepare me for the transition home for myself, my friends, and family!
